That time truly flies and people were not exaggerating when they said “they grow up so fast”
That life really does change when you look at that tiny bundle and suddenly realise you are responsible for another human being
That one so small can create so much poo
That irony is not lost on babies
That boys WILL wee on you as soon as you remove their nappy
That no matter what colour you dress your child in, people will always think they are of the opposite sex
That second hand is not second best
That it will take 30 minutes more than you allowed to get out of the house
That babies smelled so good after a bath
That sleep is for the weak
That colic does get better
That cold tea is all I will drink for months and to invest in a thermos cup
That LEGO is a weapon
That poo could be such a funny word to toddlers and boys of all ages
That it is OK to get angry
That I will never again be able to go to the toilet in peace
That I would know The Hungary Caterpillar off by heart
That I would cry on their first day at Preschool
That DVD’s do not wear out though repetitive play even if you wish they would
That nativities are so emotional
That is it perfectly acceptable to get sick of cooking and preparing meals
That it is natural to live in constant fear of something bad happening to your child
That it is not acceptable to fancy one of the presenters of CBebbies
Daytime naps for Mummy as well as baby are totally acceptable
That the odd jar of baby food and bit of salt will not harm your child
That saying no to homework is OK
That the cleaning can wait
That it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help
That weetabix dries like concrete, so wipe it up quickly
That when people are starring at your whilst your child is having a tantrum are actually thinking “oh no, poor woman” rather than “gosh what a crap mother”
That I would be a better parent for having some me time
That being a parent is the hardest, but most rewarding job in the world