We have been making strides in improving Mini’s behaviour with help and advice from Franki. It is really hard to see clearly when you are in the midst of horrible behaviour. But she has really given us the ability to clarify what we need to do and support when things are not on track. So what are we doing? more »
I have mentioned before that Mini’s emotions bubble very close to the surface. The bad ones and the good. This means that he is quick to express his happiness and cuddles are never far away, however, conversely it means that he could blow at anytime. It is horrible. I have been feeling as though I am walking on egg shell for the last month or so. Him not sleeping makes things a hundred times worse.
Yesterday things came to a real head and I just lost it. I can not keep on parenting like this. Wondering what is going to set him off. There is no rhyme or reason often to what sets him off, often it can be something as silly as he forgot what we were having for dinner or that he is losing a game.
The thing if when Mini is angry, it is a horrible thing to see. He lashes out, physically and verbally. It is never his fault, always someone else’s and trying to get him to calm down is beyond us at this time. He keeps himself together most of the time at school, but can be disruptive when he is bored. it is at home we seem to get the brunt of it and as I am the primary care giver, I see the most of it. From the minute he wakes up, we are often at loggerheads. He doesn’t want to go to school. He doesn’t want to have breakfast, the list goes on and on.
The scariest thing is I am becoming scared of my six year old. When he hits it hurts, he scratches, he bites and he destroys things. He has lifted and thrown the kitchen table before. We have talked about rules. That it is OK to be angry, but not OK to hurt people or things and that it is good to talk, but once he is on fire we really struggle.
Gosh this post is so hard to write. I do not want to label him and we take great care not to call him a naughty boys and just say that what he is doing is wrong.
We are at the end of our tether and do not know where to look for help or advice. I am so conflicted, I adore him and he is a joy to be with most of the time, but there is always that nagging worry at the back of my mind. MadDad is not excluded and Mini has shown his dark side at football practice too. Maxi gets it if he is winning in a game or he is playing with something that Mini wants.
I can not go on living as we have for the last month. Last year was much better, which is why I think it is linked to his need for sleep.
The thing is we do not know where to go for help.
ini is also joining in with the Spooky Scribe team and below is his story, which the team at Asda are going to to add to a book for him to keep. So without further ado, I present you Mini’s story, which he typed up himself and added the clip art too (he is six and I am in awe of his computer skills)! I guess you can make out from this story, that Mini has a sweet tooth.
Mini was born six years ago on 24 June. He is and always will be my midsummer baby. This year I have not had the urge to blog about his birthday, for some reason I have wanted to keep it close to me for a little longer. I felt irrationally that by not blogging about it I was keeping him five for a little longer.
We gave him some options of what he wanted to do for his birthday. Did he want a party, a day out or a quiet birthday tea? Not one for a party, he said that we would rather have a family day out and then we were invited down to London by Dairylea and it was just perfect as London is his favorite place in the whole world. He didn’t even have a birthday list, when asked what he wanted for a present, he wasn’t sure!
All in all it took him 45 minutes to complete his macaroon and when he did, he asked if he could have his own stitching kit for his sixth birthday (which is on 24 June). Mummy best get busy then making the little man his own needle book and putting together a little pack all of his own.
Mini was in the smallest room upstairs, but with him getting older, we wanted to give him a larger room, especially as he had asked for a desk, but we didn’t want to decorate or go to much expense. Now Mini is obsessed with London, all things to do with our nations capital. So he wanted a London themes and with the Olympics coming this year, we thought it was the perfect time to update is things.
Now you might know that we have had ongoing issues with Mini about going to school since Preschool. He doesn’t like school. He doesnt want to go and we have been trying to get to the bottom of this for a long, long time and finding something like this in your five year old’s notebook, I can tell you is crushing.
I know that we can not always be happy all the time, but at five you should be happy most of the time and you should not be made to feel as though no body likes you. Initially when I tried to approach him about it, he just ripped the note up and started to cry. He explained that none of th
Mid January I blogged about Mini not going to bed and going to sleep and how it was really affecting our evenings and also making him really tired and grumpy in the morning. Well I thought it was time for an update and I am pleased to be able to tell ypu that our evenings have been transformed.
Mini now goes to bed between 7pm and 7.30pm and goes to sleep. He has even asked to go to bed and taken himself up at 6.45pm one evening. Even when were were moving his room he still went to bed and sleep in all the mess and chaos.
So how have we done it. Basically it has all been about consistency. We have a strict bedtime routine. No screen time after 6pm. Dinner, night clothes, books, cuddles and bed (with a bath a couple of times a week).
We are in the middle of a room reorgaisation here in The Mad House. We agreed that Mini would move rooms to the craft room/study as it is larger than his room. MadDad felt that this necessitated painting Mini’s current room before doing the actually moving. Well he couldnt have picked a worse weekend for it.