Mum In The Madhouse - Parenting without stabilisers

We are really focussing on trying to encourage our boys to move away from the electronic and take up more tactile pursuits!  I gave you some ideas for encouraging writing earlier in the week, but I wanted to concentrate on recording holiday memories this time.  When I was younger one of the most exciting aspects of any family holiday was receiving the developed film back from the chemist  and putting together an album of the photographs and writing the name of the holiday in the inside page. In todays digital world I find that my images stay on my PC, phone and on the digital photo frame we have and that made me sad, so I decided to encourage Maxi to make a scrapbook of our recent Orlando visit.  This was made even easier as we were gifted a whole host of Papermainia scrapbooking things in the All Aboard travel theme from Docrafts.com Whilst we were in Orlando Maxi made sure that he took maps, leaflets and keep all his tickets in to the theme parks, so in addition to any pictures I printed out he could also keep all this memorabilia and have a wonderful physical memory of our holiday. Firstly we sat at the PC and decided which images to print.  In future I think that I would send them off to an online provider to print, that way we could have a better quality print. Then we cut all the photographs out using the guillotine and then I let Maxi lose with the glue and a pen! As much as I wanted everything to be neat and in a certain way, I knew that it was best that I just stayed on the sideline and let him fill the scrapbook in how he wanted it to be.  Afterall this is his holiday memories we are recording. The best thing is that whilst Maxi was busy doing this, Mini decided that he needed a scrapbook too and starting sticking in receipts and maps from visits to London in.  I hope that I have started something and that the boys start collecting mementos on holidays and trips and they keep on making scrapbooks. Recently our friends went on a holiday in the Norfolk Broads, which is somewhere we haven't visited at all and both the boys have decided that they want to  go on a Richardson's Boating Holiday.  They both love the idea of all the things they could record and keep in their new scrapbooks!

• Two hands, one for each of my children.  I still take joy in the fact that at eight and nearly seven the boys want to hold my hands when we go places.
• Two hands, to hold on tight to the man of my dreams
• Two hands that love to get dirty with bread, paint, glue and glitter (not all at the same time mind you)
• Two hands, one to hold the book and one to turn the pages as I read the bedtime story
• Two hands that love to gently stroke my children as they sleep.
• Two hands that tippy tap away on the keyboard letting the words flow from brain to blog
• Two hands that hold the camera capturing the moments to make the memories
• But mostly my two hands to help, they help my children learn to make their own way in the world

To celebrate its 20^th birthday, Carex has launched a nationwide competition to reward 20 busy pairs of hands around the UK!

The Carex Live Life Hands On Awards celebrate all the wonderful things that we do with our hands. Carex wants people to share a day in the life of their hands, showcasing the real life moments that hands unlock, every single day. Entries can be a couple of sentences, a short written diary, some photos or even video footage. The competition is open to everyone and Carex will pick 20 of the most compelling entries to each win £500 worth of Red Letter Day vouchers, plus a year’s supply of Carex hand wash. To enter The Carex Live Life Hands On Awards visit the Carex Website 

We love books in The Mad House and one of my favorite times of the day is when we read to each other.  As the boys are growing up I still feel it is important to read to them and I am aware that sometimes the length of books is daunting to younger children if they want to read them themselves, however, chapter books are great for family reading.  We were recently sent The House of Secrets and we have been reading a chapter or two each night and it is a fab family book.  It is a real page turner. We were keen not to let too much away, but have decided to do a very quick video review for you. This is a great book.  I read it all in the bath one night after reading the first four chapters to the boys!  It has encouraged us to talk about lots of issues as a family, but it hasn't been too spooky or scary for either of the boys.  It has really introduced the boys to the concept of cliffhangers and is a proper page turner.  It is crying out to be made into a movie, infact Maxi asked when it was going to be on at the Cinema. I would urge you to get this book, I am enjoying reading it to the boys as much as they are enjoying listening to it. Ned Vizzini is the bestselling author of the acclaimed young-adult books The Other Normals, It's Kind of a Funny Story (also a major motion picture), Be More Chill, and Teen Angst? Naaah.... In television, he has written for ABC's Last Resort and MTV's Teen Wolf. His essays and criticism have appeared in the New York Times, the Daily Beast,and Salon. He is the co-author, with Chris Columbus, of the fantasy-adventure series House of Secrets. His work has been translated into ten languages. He lives in Los Angeles.

With the onslaught of electronics in todays lifestyle writing can sometimes take a backseat and I for one am keep to encouraging writing in my boys.  I think the fact that Maxi is both a reluctant reader and writer makes me more determined to find ways to encourage this skill.  Mini who is nearly seven loves to read and write and can often be found with a notebook and pencil in hand and is keen to improve his handwriting as he wants to get awarded a handwriting pen at school. Over the summer holidays last year we focussed a lot on writing and pen skills including making our own books, creating a writing centre and making memory stones. One of the things that I discovered was that good quality writing equipment was key in helping both the boys.   Triangular and wide pencils were easier for them to grip and paper with lines on made it easier too.  Good quality paper that they can press on without ripping is essential.  I also found that providing them with notebooks and letter writing stationery or their own choice helped to encourage them. Journaling Now the boys are a little older (eight and nearly seven) we have moved on and they are currently filling in a Q&A a day for children journal each night before bed. These are brilliant journals, which asks a simple question each night and your child completes it.  It is only a sentence, so fast and simple to do before bed.  I want the boys to get into the habit of writing and feel this is a fantastic way to do that, plus it is a good way of recording how their answers change each year. Maxi is also putting together a scrapbook style journal of our recent trip to Orlando (more about that in the near future). Penpals Both the boys also have a penpal that they write too.  This is a great way of encouraging writing, penmanship and also communication skills.  They choose their own stationery and learn the joy of sending and receiving letters. We have even been collecting stamps to make a display with.  I know that the boys are  excited to use the special edition Dr Who Royal Mail stamps (released to celebrate the 50^th Anniversary of Doctor Who this year)  on their next letters.  

I want my children to be individuals  to not be afraid to be different. I want them to have the courage of their convictions and I want them to know that uniqueness is something to be embraced not shunned.  However, this is not easy ion today's mass market society   Everything looks the same and they often want to follow trends, well Mini does.  Maxi is much happier to stand out from the crowd. Over the Easter holidays we were invited to London Zoo by Next to see their Spring/Summer 2013 range and as both the boys have started to show an interest in the clothes they wear it was an interesting event.  Maxi gravitated towards the bright colours, whilst Mini loved the streetwear.  I was going to blog about the clothes, but realised that there are already some great posts out there from This  Mummy Loves, Inside the Wendy House and The Crazy Kitchen. As we left they were gifted a goodie bag that contained a monochrome hat and some sunglasses.  When we got home they thought it would be a great idea to use some fabric pens we have and to customise their caps.  I thought this was a great way of introducing individualism and we had great fun. Both the boys really enjoyed personalising their hats from Next and took a lot of time in picking the colours they wanted and it was the perfect quiet time activity.  We sat at the table after bath time and discussed why it is OPK to wear what you want and that it is what is on the inside that matters not the outside. How do you encourage your children to be unique?  

Geocaching is a great way to get out and about and treasure hunt with Children.  For the uninitiated Geocaching is an outdoor activity where you navigate to a cache (or treasure for children ) using GPS.    Now that most of us have built in GPS on our mobile phone this is a great family activity and it is becoming a much more mainstream and Geocaching activity. What is Geocaching? It is a modern day treasure hunt using GPS.  There are over 2 million caches worldwide and to show you just how popular and accessible it is there are 14 within 2 miles of where I live on the North Yorkshire Coast! How do I find the location of Geocaches? You can search by location, postcode, county on geocaching.com.  It is a great way to get out and explore an area that you are going on holiday too.  There is a North Wales Geocache Trail, which is great for people holidaying in that lovely part of the British Isles (we had our honeymoon here and are looking to visit with the children next year).  The North Wales Geocache Trail is a great introduction to Geocaching as a family, it has a map for you to look at and decide which trail you might wish to use and the added bonus of prizes!  You can also search on difficulty, which makes it great for children.

What equipment do I need? Now that you can get Geocaching apps on your mobile phone, such as Geocaching by Groundspeak Inc for the Iphone and CacheSense for android you do not need to have a dedicated GPS device.  As with any walk it is recommended that you have good shoes or boots and dress appropriately, but as you can see it is a very low outlay activity. What is a cache? A cache is the treasure and a cache always contains a logbook or logsheet for you to log your find.  One of the guiding principles of geocaching is "take something, leave something." A geocache hider places a number of goodies in a container when a new cache is first started.  As people find the cache, they exchange goodies that catch their eye with trade items they've brought with them on the search.  The rule of geocaching is that if you take something from the cache, you must replace it with something of equal or greater value Have you been on a  geocache with your children?

Whenever I am asked for recommendations for games or toys to buy for younger children I often recommend Orchard Toys.  It is one of the first things that come to mind and both my boys have grown up loving and playing Orchard Toys.  In fact at one time or another I think we have had every single game in their range.  When the boys outgrown them I have passed them on to friends with younger children, these games are universally loved. I love them for the following reasons:

1. They are easy to play
2. They are suitable for toddlers,  preschoolers  and upwards upwards
3. They are fun and educational
4. They are not mind numbing for adults
5. They encourage independent play. My two can play without adult supervision
6. They often combine chance with strategy, which means that people of multiple ages can play
7. They are often 3D, however are easy to assemble and really strong and sturdy
8. They are designed to hold children's attention and are played over a short period of time.
9. They encourage and enforce educational skills through play without the child even noticing.
10. They are reasonably priced, perfect for gift giving.
11. They have great longevity
12. Super playability
13. They work within children's short concentration spans

Spooky Steps We were recently sent Spooky Steps, which is a fun game for 4 to 12 year olds and focusses on maths skills.  It costs £14.99.  The boys both loved this and built it and played independently without any input at all from me and MadDad.   The instructions were clear and concise and they loved the 3D effect of the game board.  The quality of the materials is really obvious and although it has been played with extensively it does not yet show any signs of wear. The object of the game is to  creep through the spooky house to reach the cauldron and break the witch’s spell.  It encourages math skills, but also adds chance to the game, so evening out any age differences in players. As a parent this game was a real hit as it meant that the boys were using mathematics in a meaningful context without even realising that maths were involved.  This is the joy of Orchard Toys.  If your child means a little encouragement in a specific area you can focus on it without them even noticing and it makes learning a fun experience through play.  

I am not one for talking politics, but I was sat in the car listening to Jane Garvey on Radio 2 (much better than Jeremy Vine incidentally) discussing what people thought of Margaret Thatcher last week and it really got me thinking.  I understand that she polarised public opinion and there is a real North South divide when it comes to her and the politics of the era in question.    In some ways it wasn't a North South divide, but a class gap, which even shows in my home and the opinion MadDad and me have of The Thatcher Years. I am a child of the eighties, I was born in the early seventies and lived on the North East coast with my Mum, Dad and Grandad.  My Dad and Grandad both worked in the shipyards.  Both were in management positions and my Mum was a SAHM.  My Dad had gone to Grammar school and college and apprenticed at the "Dock" in the Engineering department.  My Grandad was a blacksmith and had worked there from leaving school at 14, so you could say that shipbuilding ran in my blood.  All the other males in the family either worked at the Docks, the steel yard or the chemical works.  I grew up in Teesside an area of heavy industry born from iron and built of steel. My parents were the first in their family to buy there own house and we lived a relatively good life.  As a family there was two incomes coming in to the house and my mum was a stay at home mum from when I was born, so we never really wanted for anything.  We ate well, had great holidays and life was fab.  I remember riding my bike after school to meet my Dad on the way home from work.  We would get half way and he would stop the car and put the bikes in the back and go home together for a meal that my mum had cooked.  We spent many a summer evening on my Granddad's allotment where he grew vegetables cutting flowers and kept chickens   We would often build dens in the nearby nature reserve.  Life was uncomplicated.  My Dad was often to be found in the garage repairing car's for friends or doing up one to sell for some extra cash. I remember homemade clothes, family get togethers and riding my bike everywhere.  I remember having to be home for 4.30pm for dinner as Dad and Granddad got home at 4.15 and a meal was on the table at 4.30 every night.  There was band practice twice a week and my Dad got his license so he could drive the Band Bus on a weekend to cpmpetitions.  I remember sitting with my tape recording in the bedroom I shared with my brother taping songs off the radio trying to pause it before the presenter spoke, so that I could make mix tapes for the weekends journeys on the bus. I went to a good primary school and an even better senior school and my Mum became a School Crossing Warden or LollyPop lady.  We walked to school on our own from about seven years old and could often be found in the park after school fishing for guppies in the beck, carrying on at the golf links, crabbing at the boating lake or messing around on the beach. Then things changed.  My parents tried hard to hide it from us, but it soon got out that the Shipyard was to be closed and thousands of men were to lose their jobs.  Their livelihoods gone, just like that.   Yes there was to be a decent redundancy package, but there were clauses about not being able to work for any other Shipyard for a set amount of time.  These things I didn't realise at the time.  It was as though someone had ripped out my Grandpa's heart.  Both my Dad and GrandDad had long service awards.  I remember my Dad going out looking for work.  I remember him traveling 60 miles each way everyday for work at Sunderland.  I remember the hushed conversations about tax and making sure the mortgage got paid.  I remember my Dad telling my mum that he wasn't too proud to do any work, but he was not going to sign on.  He never had and he never would.  I remember the mornings that my Mum got up at 5.30 am to go and clean the local British Legion Club before coming home to get our breakfast before school. My Senior School "merged" with another "not so good" school, but in reality, my school closed and the other school remained open crammed to the gills.   I went from loving school to hating school in one foul swoop and became rebellious. You know what, my Dad was one of the lucky ones.  He eventually got full time permanent employment, but not in his field.  Not doing what he trained all those years for and in an industry and position that eventually killed him (he died in an Industrial Accident in 2000).  Many people were out of work for years.  Families torn apart and lives shattered.  It is hard to find employment when the jobs do not exist. As a family we survived, we didn't thrive like some people.  But we were lucky, we had the allotment, which meant that we had lots of fresh veg   My Dad repaired the fishermans tractors and boats in exchange for fish  and seafood and my mum was an amazingly thrifty and resourceful woman. Love her or hate her, Thatcher stirred things up in the UK.  She was the first female prime minister in the UK and that is something to be proud of.  Growing up I never thought it was odd to have a female in this position it just seemed like the normal thing to me and for that I am grateful. So that is my Thatcher years.  What are yours?  

It's that time of year when we perform the exasperating task of preparing our homes for the spring. From shooing away dust bunnies to taking an inventory of your spring and summer wardrobe and picking out pieces to donate or give away, spring cleaning consists of many 'must-do' chores in order to prepare your home for the upcoming season. As difficult as it is to get ourselves motivated and actively cleaning, it's even more knackering trying to get your family to chip in; particularly the little ones. Face it, the last thing a kid wants to do is clean up, especially if it involves getting rid of some of their prized possessions (even if they haven't touched them in years). You can still clean house without it ending in tantrums and tears by following these simple tips.

Leave Those Tricks Up Your Sleeve

While we all tell our children little white lies every now and then, it's best to avoid deceiving your little ones or conning them when it comes to getting them to help around the house or do chores. While it's best to be truthful with your children about spring cleaning, you should also use a little charm and finesse. Ask or invite your wee ones to help you as most tots love being helpful and beam with pride when they've done a good job. Keep this in mind when you and your kids are going through their toys, games, and clothing. First, explain to them why you need to purge your home of some things that are old or no longer used. If you are donating some of their possessions, discuss with them the importance of giving their old things to other children who aren't as fortunate as they are. Next, let them make a pile of items they want to keep and those they can part with or no longer use for items that are in dispute, make your children justify why it’s necessary to keep them. In keeping with these tips, you're sure to have enough drawer and closet space ready for those spring and summer clothing pieces from Marks and Spencer.

Have Some Fun

Spring cleaning doesn't have to be a bore. Make a game out of cleaning with your children. Split your family into teams and assign them each a task or area to clean. Whichever team finishes first (and does the best job) wins a special treat. Turn spring cleaning into a scavenger hunt of sorts by hiding clues in places that need to be cleaned or organized, such as toy chests and closets. Again, be sure to reward your kids for participating and a job well done.

End With a Family Celebration

Treat the entire family to a night or day of fun after your spring cleaning is finished. Have a pizza night filled with games and sweet treats, or take your family out to a fun, themed restaurant, specifically designed for the kiddies. Even a simple activity like a family day of exploration at a nearby park or a nice picnic is an excellent way to commemorate your family achievement. And, in rewarding your children for their assistance and cooperation, you're not only letting them know that you appreciate their efforts, but you are encouraging and reinforcing positive cleaning habits.

When the boys were toddlers I used to dread the holidays.  No toddler groups, no toddler only swimming, the park would be full of big kids and woe betide trying to do to soft play without an older and larger child pushing my poor smaller babes. Yes I really did hate the holiday times.  In fact I would sometimes sit and cry at the thought of what I was going to do to keep them occupied without our regular hangouts and places to go.  Even story time at the library was cancelled over the school holidays. I felt that I needed to have a routine.  that my whole world would collapse without the organised, regimented activities that we did each holiday.  I used to fool myself that the children needed these things.  That they needed to socialise and be with other children, but the real truth is that I NEEDED to go to these things.  I needed the adult company that going to a regular activity brough.  Those Tuesday morning toddler group at the Church was the only hot cup of coffee I got all week and what's more it was always made with hot milk!

 The boys with the Frugals!

My two boys are fifteen months apart and going to these activities often kept one of them occupied whilst I could concentrate on the other or even better kept them both busy for five minutes peace.  I was never one to have friends at the groups, but I did used to enjoy getting out of the house and away from the monotony of the early years of parenting. When other parents, inevitably the ones with school age children would tell me they looked forward to the holidays I would inwardly wonder if they were mad! However, I couldn't feel any different now they are both older and in school full time.  I long for the holidays.  For the lack of routine and the ability to relax and slow down.   I love the fact that there is no rush in the mornings to get ready and get to school.  That we can be a little more relaxed about bedtimes and really enjoy each others company. I love the thought of not having a week of activities planned and being able to just go with the flow.  If we fancy fish and chips at the beach there is nothing stopping us.  Want to try a different park?  Yep lets just jump in the car!  We all love getting so engrossed in an activity that the hours role by and we have no where we HAVE to be. In fact the longer the holiday the better.  One week is too short, it takes a week for the boys to decompress and stop fighting with each other.  The second week is much better, they learn to make there own fun.  To cooperate with each other.  They start to get into the groove of playing out with friends and making their own games. But what do you think?  Are you a school holiday lover or hater?