Writing Workshop – Do not be defined by what you can be, rather who you can be



What can I say about a mothers love, the love I feel for my two boys
The need to give them happiness throughout their lives
To see joy in their faces
To be privileged to experience with them so many firsts.
First Steps
First Smile
First tooth
The first feel of sand in their toes
To be able to pick them up after their first fall.
To be able to give unconditional love.
To love their faults.
To instill in them the morals of their father.
To teach them to be righteous men, with big hearts and a strong comprehension of good and bad and the sense to make the best choice.
To go down the right path.
To be blessed with experiencing wonderment.
To introduce them to Father Christmas and to instill in them that giving is better than receiving.
To watch them grow and blossom
To find the love of their lives and watch them mature
I am truly blessed with two wonderful boys and the chance to make a difference

I wrote this on 22 August 2006, when mini was less than two months old and Maxi was just 17 months old and it means just as much then as now, if not more.    I wrote it after a 2am night feed and was unable to get back to sleep, whist I watched mini sleep peacefully. 

I chose option 3 What do you secretly dream of your children doing?

When I think of what I hope my children may grow up to do, there isn't one job, one career that comes to mind and that is OK.  I am resigned to the fact that I place more emphasis on who they are and who they can be, rather than what they can be.

The one thing they do both know, is that they can choose to be the best that they can be and that I will always be there.
 

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The Gallery – Me

Me, a really hard one for me to show this week and also they don't define me totally, they have shaped me and who I am for the last 2 years, so I proudly present:


My scars, or at least some of them!


When MadDad first saw them, they were red, weeping and looked as though some one had butchered me, they were not symmetrical, neat or tidy in any way, mainly due to the sepsis and subsequent operation I needed.

But now they are mellowing, they are white, silver and raised, they run from under each armpit and meet in the middle with a vertical scar running up towards my collar bones. 

They brought out different emotions in each of us.  He hated them, they made his angry, frustrated and upset.  To him they represented the surgeon and body's failure to deal with the reconstruction.
To me they brought relief mainly.  I was relieved that my breasts were gone and couldn't harm me, but they also made me feel less of a woman, less attractive, especially as I was used to having 36GG ones.  

Now with the help of counselling we have both reconciled our feelings and they are just me.

This was inspired by Tara over at Sticky Fingers for The Gallery

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Blackpool – The British Glee

All this talk of Glee, has had me thinking.  Now I really like Glee, it pretty much does what is says on the tin and I Sky+ it and watch it when Maxi is at school and Mini at preschool, but I kept thinking it reminded me if something.

So let me present you Blackpool.  A BBC production from a while back (2007)



OK so they sing over the songs, but it was wonderful, ground breaking and it had David Tennant in it, what more could a girl ask for.



Oh and the songs were so varried it made great viewing.





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Sunflower Club


We are taking part in Nuturestores Sunflower Club and have been busy planting our seeds. We are using single giant sunflowers and have decided to start them off inside, as last year our sunflowers were pretty late and lame!


So we decided to plant our seeds in egg shells, as sunflowers don't like to be transplanted and this is a great and Eco friendly way of doing this.


Both the boys love gardening which makes my heart sing and we will be planting more seeds over the coming weeks


We put one seed in each egg shell and covered with more soil.


We are going to be doing a scrapbook like Nurturestore have and keep a record of growth etc over the coming months too.  When I asked Mini what did the sunflowers seeds need to grow, he told me that they need soil, water, sunshine and lots of love.

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Spiritual Sunday – A pause in Lent week 5

Firstly an update on the shouting.  We have had a few relapses, but it is actually getting easier.  I have noticed a real difference, it is not my first reaction a situation.

Also the fact that I have been unwell has meant that the volume button has had to be turned down with the boys too.  This is good news, no actually this is great.  On the few occasions I have had to raise my voice the impact has been immediate and it feels good not to be all fishwife.



I have been discussing Jesus with the boys and they are both finding it hard to comprehend about the resurrection, so I have bi passed this for now and we have been discussing the fact that Jesus was aware that his death was near.  This seems to sit fine with the boys, infact death is not a thing to be feared in their eyes.  It is a natural progression in their eyes.

Part of it is down to their Grandpa being a farmer, so everything is black and white with no in between, part of it is down to their innocence and their trusting in what Mad Dad and I say, which is fine, but it does make it hard to sometimes deal with the bible.

So peeps, I need some help here, we need some help.  How would you discuss Easter with a 3 and a 5 year old, they are both bright and love to learn.  I would like some ideas on way to explain this to them.

MadDad is a very lapsed catholic and Easter doesn't hold any pleasure for him at all and that is not what I want for the boys, so friends I am all ears.




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The Photo Lottery

I have been tagged by The Musings of a geriatric Mummy and I am sure someone else too, to do the Photo Lottery Meme, the rules are:

1. Open the first (oldest) photo folder in your computer library
2. Scroll to the 10th photo
3. Post the photo and the story behind it
4. Tag 5 or more people to continue the thread


OK the oldest digital photographs I have on the laptop are from 2003 and our trip to South Africa. This is the tenth one and not all that stunning in its imagery, but as a part of modern history it is just beyond my comprehension.

For this is the cell that Nelson Mandela occupied for approx 18 years during his imprisonment on Robben Island. He was finally released only 13 years before this picture was taken on 11 February 1990 (he didn't spent the last part of his sentence on Robben Island).

The whole tour of Robben Island was very emotional, as we were shown round by an ex-prisoner and oh my it was certainly an eye opener. The hardships that these people endured. The hard labour where they were forced to work in a Lime Quarry and were refused a lot of basic medication.

We were amazed by South Africa when we visited and had the best holiday ever. You have to remember that this is a third world country, with such a mixture of first and third word, that it is mind boggling.

The people we friendly, the hospitality excellent, the food was outstanding and the scenery well out of this world. One day we hope to be lucky enough to take our boys and show them.

Plus I am very envious of anyone who is going to the world cup. They will have a fantastic time, in a beautiful country that has come such a long, long way since the days of apartheid, but still has a long way to travel.

I need to Tag 5 other people to do it too and I am going to tag some of the new people I have been introduced to via The Gallery

Mums gone to....

What's happening at my house

Barefoot in the Kitchen

Freckles family

Kelloggsville


Now if you have tagged me recently, please can you drop me a line, as the flu has fried my brain and I can not find my notebook where I write all these things down - doh, I am having a homer moment as we call them.
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Calling for entries for the Next British Mummy Bloggers Carival

It seems like eons ago I put my name down to host one of the wonderful Mummy Bloggers Carnival and finally my time has come. 



So I would like to put a shout out to everyone out there to send me their best post of the past month for the next carnival which will go live on Tuesday 30 March.

There is no theme, just send me the link for the post you wish to include, oh and daddy bloggers are welcome too!

You can either leave me a comment with the link on this post or e-mail me via muminthemadhouse at orange dot co dot uk

I have a hard act to follow, have you seen the current carnival over at Baby Baby, well done Sandy.

Want to know more then mosey on over to British Mummy Bloggers and the BMB Carnivals

The deadline for post submissions is midnight on Sunday 28 March.


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Dear So and So

Dear Breast Cancer
 
I found out you had took another member of the family yesterday. It makes me so sad and angry to see you focusing your attention of the female maternal line of my family. You are an evil shit and I will not succumb.

A tearful MadMum
--------------------------- 
 
Dear Mum

I am sorry that they (the powers that be) feel that you do not qualify for a stair life, but shouting at me isn't going to get you one either.

Your exasperated daughter
-------------------------------

Dear GP

Flu, what real flu, you have to be kidding me, what with vertigo too. How can I bloody manage to look after myself let alone anyone else this week.

A not very good sickly person
-----------------------------------

Dear Friend

Thank you from the bottom on my heart for going out of your way to take the boys to and from school and preschool this week. You have gone above and beyond.
 
An amazed and very pleased to have you MadMummy
---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear MadDad

I am more than happy with my wonderful "Lucozade and ice cream marriage", hearts, flowers and candles are all all over rated anyway. Love you.

Lets have an early night (wink) MadMummy
---------------------------------------------------

Dear Maxi

I do hope I haven't passed on my fever to you dear, but with a temp of 39.9 it seems like a possibly may have.
 
An ever kissing MummyMad
--------------------------------

Dear School

Just stop already with the charity days. Yes the boys will come to school in sports wear and bring £1 each. Yes they will both walk, run or crawl a mile and I will give them more money and yes they need lose change as you are going to make a sports relief logo of coins in the school hall. I am happy for you to send begging letters, just don't tell the children how much you expect them to bring in

A skint parent
----------------

Dear Brother

I know you are a man and I know she gets on your nerves, but just put up with mother this week please.
 
A stern older sis
-------------------

Dear Sleepiness

I could really do with you having a chat to you mate insomnia this week. I want to knock the sleeping pills on the head, but he isn't making it easy for me.

An in charge MadMummy
----------------------------

Dear Pain

Please see the above, I am going to manage so give me a break please.

A determined MadMummy
-------------------------------


Inspired by 3 bedroom Bungalow's Dear So and So.

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15 years ago my body let me down

I could go down the I have a genetic spelling mistake and my body is my biggest enemy, route,  but been there done that and there is something more apt, something more perfect for today.  As today is my 15th Wedding Anniversary.

Picture this I was 21 years old and we had set the date, MadDad and I.  March the 18th 1995.  The dress was bought, the hair was planned.  I had the tiara and the veil.

We had been together a year, yes not long in the scheme of things, but we knew that it was the right thing to do, in fact I had knew that MadDad was the one from the minute I met him when I was 16, but he was taken and that is a whole different post!

We had decided that we would announce our engagement and the date for our wedding a the same time and we also decided we didn't want a big engagement, so September 1994, we told our parents we were getting married and there was 6 months to plan it.

Long enough to get everything in place, but not too long to start fretting about things and also not long enough for the costs to get all silly.

Everything was in place, just the final little bits to sort, nothing major and then I realised that I couldn't see right, that road signs weren't clear and that there was something wrong, so off to the opticians I went.

It was a disaster I was short sighted and I needed glasses.  The optician was baffled as I had only had my eyes tested 6 months previous and the deterioration was pretty serve.  So I needed glasses.  I went home and I sobbed my heart out.  I was so upset.  I got some glasses and I hated them.  I didn't want to wear them to the wedding, but how would I see anyone.

So back to the opticians I went to ask about contact lenses.  Yes I could have some, but they would be pretty expensive, in fact they were going to cost in excess of £100 and it was £100 we didn't have, especially as we had just found out MadDad had been made redundant.  So I went home sad and defeated.

The next day I received a phone call from the opticians to go back in and collect my lenses, I was baffled, he went on to explain that my mum and dad had paid for them for me and that he wanted me back in so that I could get used to them over the week before the wedding.

So on March 18 1995 I walked down the isle to here comes the bride and I could clearly see MadDad looking at me with tears in his eyes.  I could see the congregation, I could see my mum crying in the front pew and I was overjoyed.  As I walked down the isle Mrs Mad to I vow to thee my country I could see everyone looking at me.  

Yes my body let me down, but my family didn't.


Marring MadDad was the best thing I ever did, it was the best day of my life and I love him more today than I ever though possible.  So I want to say thank you, my soul-mate for being there for me through thick and thin, sickness and health and for being the constant companion by my side.  I love you.

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The Gallery – Colour

This weeks Gallery prompt was Colour, now there are lots of colourful things round TheMadHouse and I couldn't settle on one and plus I am feeling pretty under the weather.  I have flu (real flu - I don't think I have ever had it before), with vertigo thrown in for extra measure and didn't fancy looking though my laptop image archives.  

So I grabbed the camera and have taken three images that represent a snapshot of life  in The Mad House.

Our art wall in the kitchen, ever changing, but always a colourful expression of the boys artistic endeavors


A vase of daffodils in the kitchen, these are starting to turn a little, but don't fail to make me smile


Lego, pretty self explanatory!

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