Mum In The Madhouse- Parenting without stabilisers

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The indignity of being Mr Smudge

This wonderful post from Bad Penny at The Hen House made me think about our cat. He was one of a pair that we got many moons ago (14 years in fact) after I miscarried twins at 20 weeks. They were our first baby's and we love them dearly. We only have one left in our life now a wonderful OAP who goes by the title of Mr Smudge. It used to be just smudge, but so many people kept calling him a she that we didn't want he to get a complex so the Mr was introduced.

Now you wont find me saying this often, as I always though Mr Smudge aka TheCookingFat had a fine life here in TheMadHouse, well the truth be told he did, until the MiniMads came along.

BC (Before Children) he and his brother (Snowy) lived the life of Riley. They had the best food, were groomed every evening, where bought special milk, had suncream applied on their ears if they were going out in the sun and often shared a five star cattery when we went on holiday, in fact it was more of a hotel for cats, heated beds, a litter tray each and an open air walk in the courtyard each evening. They also were often given cat nip or "smacked up" as it was called in our house.

Since the children were born it has been another matter really, we introduced MaxiMad to the cat by leaving him in his car seat and letting them both have a sniff and the three of them cohabited very well until Maxi began to crawl and walk and then he would tend to coner them and try to pick them up. Both the cats behaved exemplary and never scratched, which was more than could be said of our first born.

Sadly we had to have Snowy put down just before MiniMad was born, so Mr Smudge was left to fend for himself, through many indignities, which have included being painted, picked up, dressed up, put in a dolls buggy and pushed around, tucked up in bed, but I think the final straw for Mr Smudge.

It was very cold in these parts yesterday and I had the tumble dryer on. Me and MiniMad had emptied it and folded the dry washing. I was just about to get the bedtime milk ready for the MiniMads, when I herd the following "come here Mr Smudge, I have a nice warm bed for you". It turns out that MiniMad had tucked Mr Smudge up in the tumble dryer. Good job I had turned it off at the wall!

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Wordless Wednesday

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Polygons – oh no its the dreaded maths

I was going to post today of my great counselling session and my coming to terms with my post surgery body and all that, but I cant. "Why" I hear you ask, well my four year old has entered the magical, mythical and ah so dreaded world of mathematics.

We always knew that he was that way inclined, but up to now I have been able to keep up and MadDad has always been on hand, but today all that changed. I went to collect him from school to take home to the park and then for a friend to take him to swimming lesson, when his teacher pulled me to one side.

My tummy did a flip, oh no he has been overenthusiastic I thought, but no, she said "I have been discussing polygons with MaxiMad today and would like you to continue with him tonight". My mind was in a whirl, what the heck was a polygon. I knew it had something to do with maths and my dim and distant schooling, but couldn't quite grasp the concept there and then. So I smiled and replied "Sure thing", knowing that I had 45 minutes to get googling and sort this out in my mind before he was dropped back home after his swimming lesson.

This conundrum did at least spare me the worry of his first swimming lesson without mummy to help with clothes, armbands and drying.

Polygons, I googled and looked at the wikipedia entry, which left me more confused than I was to begin with and then I had a lightbulb moment. Hexagons, octagons and the likes. I had cracked it.

So when Maxi came home and whilst dinner was being prepared we did some join the dots, where by he then wrote the number of sides in. we discussed how to remember the shapes names and also that they had to have sides of equal length.

Then MadDad came home and we had a yummy home made sweet and sour with noodles and started to discuss our days. All was fine until Maxi decided to bring back up the topic of polygons and they started to try and name all the large ones, well my mind was reeling. But you know what I now know a twelve sided polygon is a dodecagon, such a nice word, kind of flows off the tongue. But it is not as though a dodecagon is going to get me a cup of tea in the morning.

So pray tell, why do we need to know about Polygons and what do they do for us? I NEED to know, no really I do because Maxi is bound to ask and I want to be able to answer him.

I have prepared a craft activity for him before school though. I have cut out a hexagon, octagon and pentagon from sponge and we can do some stamping and tessellation (another great word)!

I am proud of him and do want to encourage his inquisitive mind, but surely they should cover more of this with him at school. I already get a book an day to read with him, plus a project to do over the weekend on a Thursday and this is in addition to all the reading we do at home anyway.

Anyway, I am now off to try and rid my mind of numbers and shapes by filling it with Amada Soule's Handmade home instead - Oh and I might have a small sherry too.

Goodnight

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We have a date

Well my minimad, my littlest munchkin will be starting preschool next Wednesday afternoon.

He had his home visit this afternoon and kept telling the head of preschool that he was starting tomorrow!!!

I have a few forms to fill in and return and some preparation work to do with him. He has already tried on his uniform, which he calls he work clothes and is definitely ready for a little more interaction and play with more children his age.

He will be doing an hour on the first afternoon and I will remain there, behind the scenes so to speak and then he will go 2 hours per afternoon. He is overjoyed, he was informing his teacher what he will be doing, playing with blocks, cars and making everything colourful. He told them that he will bring his music if theirs is not "suitable for bopping too".

I think they have already gathered that he is as much of a whirlwind as his older brother and just as headstrong. He is going to have the same key worker that MaxiMad had, which I think is great as she had such a raport with him, she also knew which buttons to push and he adored her. It also makes me more secure knowing her too and how much she understands and acknowledges that this is a big step for MiniMad and for me too. I am entrusting him in their care, something which I have not done with him before and as I did with his brother before him.

So here's to the change and all that it will bring. Things are definitely feeling more autumnal here, the weather took a distinct turn yesterday and it is nippy today, cardigan weather.

Anyway we are now off to walk to the school to collect MaxiMad and be regaled about his day. It was wonderful to hear how happy he seems and the fact that he clears his plate each lunchtime. He had lunch today with one of the nursery staff and she was telling me that he had a great big salad and jacket potato and went back for more peppers!!!!

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Spiritual Sunday

I am Flexible and Flowing

I am open to the new and changing.

Every moment presents a wonderful new opportunity to become more of who I am.

I flow with life easily and effortlessly.

This is true for me and many other mothers of children this week, as it will have been the first week of school for many and the return to school for others.

it is also particularly applicable as MiniMad has his home visit from the head of Preschool amd one of the other teachers tomorrow afternoon.

I had been looking to keep him with me for as long as I could, what with him being my last baby and also the experience he had when I was in hospital, but have come to realise since his big brother went into reception that this would be very cruel and selfish. He wants to spent more time away from mummy, he wants to go to school, he wants to be a little more independent, so I am letting go and trying to embrace the change.

Change is all around us at this time of year and becomes ever more noticeable as the weeks pass that autumn is upon us. The nights are drawing in, the mornings are colder, the berries are ripe for picking, the apples on the trees are heavy, The onions are ready for pulling and the leaves are starting to turn slowly brown.

For me autumn and spring are real landmarks in the calender, they bring both joy and sorrow, joy in remembrance of a fantastic summer time with my children and sorrow in the passing of the light. However, this year I am going to embrace the changes, recognise them and try and find the best in them all. Anyone care to join me?

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Makig the most of Summer

We are very lucky and we live 5 minutes away from this wonderful beach. MadDad is not a fan of the beach, but I on the other hand grew up 2 mins from the sea (you could see it from my bedroom window and out of the sitting room window of our first flat) and love it, as do the minimads.

The weather today has been wonderful, not a cloud in the sky, so we waited until after lunch and decided to have an afternoon at the beach. we quickly packed a few things together (I keep wet suits and towel ponchos in the car anyway) and departed for an afternoon of......

Sea

Frisbee

Sand

Sandcastle building and knocking down

cuddles

more sea

and to close a self portrait

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Flamingo Land

Today was in inset day (teacher training) at MaxiMads school, so MadDad took the day off and we exchanged some Tesco Club Card points for vouchers and decided to go Flamingo Land for the day, hoping that the fact that the children were all back at school and that it wasn't a weekend would mean shorter queues.

We woke up and the sun was shinning, so I packed a picnic, towel and a spare set of clothes for the minimads and we set off. We arrived at 10am and were only about the 40 car in the car park. The boys were very excited and jumped on to the first ride they saw, the balloon ride.

The beauty of Flamingo Land is that is it compact, has lots of rides suitable of little ones and has a zoo too. we spent the morning exploring the park and going on lots of rides, including the monorail, bumper cars and carousel. We then stopped to have a picnic lunch and a walk round the animals.

We really enjoyed the fact the park was quiet, it made for such a relaxing day, the children were always in sight, they got to see all the animals and we didn't have to queue at any rides. We watched the sea lion show and the boys were in awe at the beauty and grace of them.

We then took them to the splash park area, which they truly adored. Both the boys are complete and utter water babes and they loved jumping in and out of the fountains of water, shooting each other from the pirate ship and generally letting of steam. They played there until their lips were blue and couldn't speak for shivering. it was then time for a warm drink and a change of clothes and some more rides.

We left the park at closing time, 5pm and we hadn't traveled 3 minutes before both boys were fast asleep in the car and they slept the whole 50 minutes home.

It was a lovely day out and a pleasant family time out and more than made up for yesterdays episode, in fact I was very proud of both boys with their thank yous to the attendants at the rides and also by MaxiMads statement when we got in the car "it has been a good day today, thank you for bring us and I love you 1006 much".

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Afterschool Meltdown

I have been expecting it, waiting for it and hoping it wasn't going to happen, but KAPOW - it happened today, in public and it happened bad.

I have been taking the boys to the park after school (next door to the school) to blow off some energy after MaxiMad had been in school all day. I have made sure that I have had healthy snacks and a drink on hand in the hope that they would help any sugar dip.

But today it all went pear shaped - Maximad decided he was going to have a slide on the skateboard half pipe, which he was doing really well, but he couldn't make it to the top. I told him to keep practicing and then he would be able too. I also was trying to keep an eye on MiniMad too, as he was bounding about, fearless as usual with children older than his mere 3 years chattering away. I was fine with MaxiMad on the half pipe until he went to take off his shoes and socks. I had told him No earlier and explained that there was glass on the floor and he might hurt himself. Did he listen, did he heck.

So I had to leave MiniMad with a friend and go and get MaxiMad out of the skate park area. He would not come when he was told to, in fact he was being truly obnoxious and obstreperous. I was seething. I did not want to chase after him, as he had no shoes on and would think that it was a game, but in the end I had to. I was hot, red faces and blowing out steam. I made him put on his shoes and held his hand out of the park.

But it wasn't going to stop there was it? No he had not embarrassed mummy enough or made a big enough scene already. He refused to get in the car. I had to let go of his hand to get my car keys, so again, no option but to chase and physically put him in the car. Well restraining him was a different matter, he kept undoing the seat belt on his high back booster seat, so I thought right, I will put you in MiniMads 5 point harness car seat (he is just within the weight and height limit). After struggling to get him in as he was arching his back in the way that children do when they don't want to get in, I fastened the catch and went to start the car. But guess what - Yes he undid it. How I managed not to hit him I will never know. I was by this point blowing steam out of my nose and ears.

In the end I strapped MiniMad in and told MaxiMad to get out, as I would leave him if he wasn't going to get in. It took another 8 minutes to get him in his seat and strapped in.

In total my humiliation lasted 49 minutes on what was the busiest day of the week at the park, as it has been a wonderful and sunny day and it didn't stop when we got home, oh no, he creamed the whole way home that he was allowed to take off his socks and shoes because other children did and then proceeded to blast our ears for another 13 minutes at home as I refused to carry him from the car to the door, as he had taken his shoes off in the car again. Ah the irony, happy to remove them in a park with glass on the floor, but not on his own swept drive.

He is currently laid on my unmade bed watching cbeebies, whilst I pound all my angst out on this keyboard before going and dishing up his dinner.

I have warned MadDad that he is taking over parenting as soon as he walks through the door tonight, as I will be walking out to clear my head!! Thank goodness I have a husband who can take do this. Hats off to all single parents out there.

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Frequent Flyer

As you may know I live by the Fly principal for all my cleaning and lots of other things. You may have fell into the trap of thinking that I enjoy cleaning or have a sparkling clean house and I felt the need to put you right.

I HATE cleaning and use this system to be able to get by and ensure that the house is in some semblance of order. After having two children in less than 15 months you can understand that cleaning was not anywhere near the top of my priority list, but then we moved house and I decided that I needed to do something out this.

So I stumbled along Fly and have found it works for me. I need to look past a lot of the schmaltz and self-loving stuff, but once I did it was a revelation. I did the baby-steps initially and that helped me clear a lot of my clutter and also develop a morning and evening routine, which works for me and my family.

What I love about it is there is minimal effort for maximum return. I am never hopping about trying to find something in the morning and guess what - It has made this first week of DS1 going to school so much easier.

We get out his uniform the night before and lay it out downstairs, so that he can pop it on after breakfast.

Mum In The Madhouse - Parenting without stabilisers

Mummy Bloggers Do It with Integrity

The indignity of being Mr Smudge

Wordless Wednesday

Polygons – oh no its the dreaded maths

We have a date

Spiritual Sunday

Makig the most of Summer

Flamingo Land

Afterschool Meltdown

Frequent Flyer

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