Daily Archives: June 11, 2013

Redefining the concept of me time 15

I recently used the above as a title about needing to have time away from the children and taking time out for me and I received a tweet from Kirsty Younger saying she misinterpreted by title and though I was really redefining the concept of me time.

For the next couple of days this tweet kind of sat in my mind making my brain twitch somewhat. It was like an itch that needed scratching. Should I be redefining the concept me time?

One of the things that irks me about “me time” for woman is people often talk about using this time to get pampered or to pamper himself and I was so guilty of this in my last post. However, I am one of those woman who find a trip to the hairdressers a stressful experience and would rather sit in silence that chat about the weather or the next holiday the stylist is going on. Put me in a spa situation and I feel like a four year old child on her first day of school. I am never sure of the right etiquette and again who wants to have small talk whilst someone is checking out your nose for blackheads and judging you on your lack of skincare regime. A spa is the seventh circle of hell for me, not something I would want to do with any precious alone time I might have.

The more I thought about me time, the harder it was to define in the first place never mind redefine. Have my standards dropped since becoming a mum. Do I not wash my hair or paint my nails often enough. Do I need to carve out more time in my day to do this, or would my spare time time be better spent learning something new like I am with my sewing class? I know that I am getting so much out of getting out of the house and meeting new people and learning new skills. It is fast becoming my favorite day of the week. Plus I am able to put my new found skills to work making quilts and things for people I love.

But here is lies the crux of the issue. In order to redefine or even define me time you need to get past the part of your brain that feels guilty that as a mother or partner you are putting yourself first before your children or other people in your life. That you could possibly not be satisfied by all the other things in your life and need to look for some other outlet. But I am learning that guilt is the strongest emotion I possess and if I let it, it will always come to the front of my mine and I am no longer going to let my life be ruled by guilt. Whether it be my own guilt in the form of self deprecation and self worth or even self bullying or the guilt of other people that feel that by me needing some time away from my family that I am doing a disservice to mothers everywhere rule my life anymore.

How Do You Know When It’s Time to Accept Family Support? 1

How Do You Know When It’s Time to Accept Family Support?

How do you know when it’s time to accept family support? It’s a question asked often on forums and to friends over coffee, but rarely is it a question answered in an easy to manage way. Often prevention is better than cure, and early intervention theorists have long suggested that getting help before major problems arise is a sure fire way to ensure children don’t have to go through the same negative emotions and problems that their parents suffered before them.

You can take oneplusone.org.uk advice and get clued up on the options available now, to prevent problems later.

Help For Separation

Family breakdowns are one of the toughest things to have to deal with, but one thing to keep in mind is that for both partners, the emphasis should be on ensuring the children suffer as little as possible. Maintaining good relationships between you and your ex may not be practical, but there are counselling sessions you can arrange through your local authority to work out ways to reach more amicable terms, and places you can go for advice on how to deal with sharing child-minding responsibilities and reaching decisions on what to tell your children.

Support with Special Needs

The main thing to remember if you’re dealing with special needs children is that there is no shame in asking for support. Trying to work it all out on your own will probably lead to bigger problems and breakdowns from stress. The introduction of the new Children and Families bill, announced recently in the Queens speech should help make the process of getting help easier and more readily available for families struggling. The assessment process for children will be sped up, better budgets for parents with special needs children and better guidance available from your local authority.

Support for Children

If you find managing the relationships with your children difficult, or their behaviour leaves you despairing then don’t feel alone, there are plenty of measures to take and support you can benefit from with organizations like Action for Children who run children’s centres, and also advice on dealing with anger management issues experienced by children on websites like OnePlusOne.

Financial Support

Financial management is essential to keeping the balance in families, so make sure money issues aren’t causing you more stress than necessary by speaking to your bank about repayment options on loans, or getting advice from oneplusone.co.uk and government advice websites which offer support and guidance on debt, budgeting and everything in-between.

The big thing to take away from this is to never suffer in silence. If you find yourself struggling with care of children, finances or separation there are provisions available to offer support in all manner of ways. Social services is something people tend to fear as a last ditch method before break down of the family, but it should be seen as a support network designed to prevent break downs and stress. There are also new legislations being introduced by the current government to offer better support to those with special needs children.

So don’t leave it too late to ask for help.