If you’ve asked your child what they’d like to do this weekend, then a likely response is ‘sleepover!’ This can be a request that parents dread— doesn’t it mean hyper children, a sleepless night and the potential for tears and arguments in the early hours? Understandably, you might be a little nervous, especially if this is the first sleepover you’ve hosted or the finest sleepover they have had at a friend’s house. There are, however, a number of steps you can take to ensure a stress-free experience, so get that sofa bed out and give your child the go-ahead.
Hosting a Sleepover
The invites
You don’t need a paper invite! It makes things much easier for you if you set the numbers and stick to it. If this is the first sleepover you’ve hosted then it’s especially helpful to keep numbers low. A sleepover with one or two close friends can be just as exciting and will help to avoid some of the problems that can crop up in larger groups. Choose your number and stick to it!
It’s also worth considering your child’s choice of friends. Do they all know each other? Get on well? It’s best not to take any chances with kids falling out or clashing.
Communicating with other parents
It’s a good idea to have a chat with each parent before arrangements are confirmed. Has their child been to a sleepover before? Were there any problems? If they’re prone to wetting the bed or afraid of the dark then you need to know this.
There are also things like allergies and bedtime routines to take into consideration. Find out what time each child usually goes to bed, for example. It’s worth checking that parents are happy for kids to phone if they get a little anxious, or pick them up if they’re really not happy. Make sure you have emergency contact numbers.
Confirm with your guest’s parents what time they will be collecting their kids the next day and if they have any food allergies with them directly rather than relying on their child to tell you. make sure you ask if they have any medication that they take.
The fun parts
Now you’ve got the invites and arrangements with parents sorted it’s time to focus on the fun. Set aside a room in the house for the sleepover and clear floor space for places to sleep where the guests can use sleeping bags or sofa beds. Perhaps your child will want to watch an age-appropriate movie, play board games or have a karaoke night. It’s best to arrange activities beforehand and stick to a plan. If a movie is on the cards, set a start time so that it doesn’t finish too late, and limit sweet treats to the first part of the film only.
I find that getting kids outside helps tire them out. So perhaps a visit to the park or in the garden will help.
When it comes to snacks make sure you have the popcorn and drinks out and limit visits to the fridge!
You need to set the ground rules with everyone. So It’s a good idea to go through things with all the kids at the start of the sleepover, including when they’ll eat, what activities are laid on and when it will be time to sleep. Outline what kind of behaviour is expected and what they can do if they do start to feel a little scared or upset. It’s important that kids feel safe and reassured. By keeping it small and structured you should have no problems surviving your child’s first sleepover.
When your Child is Going to the Sleepover for the First Time
So you have hosted a sleepover, but what about when your child gets their first sleepover invite? Personally, I think it helps to have a mock sleepover or a trial run, perhaps at Grandparents’ or cousins’ houses, not just for the child, but also to put your mind at rest. I have one that loves going to a sleepover and the other, that isn’t keen and we realised that is because he is an early riser and likes his sleep, so would get angry if everyone was messy around when he wanted to go to sleep. Thankfully he told us and we made sure that he didn’t feel pressured into any sleepovers.
Get your child to help pack the overnight bag – so that way they will know where all the essentials all including their toothbrush, pyjamas, toiletries and stuffed animal are (also pack a spare pair of underwear in case of accidents. My youngest also insisted on taking his toothpaste and pillow. I also included a written list of contact details and any routine they have in their bay.
Make sure you give the host parents emergency contact numbers (not just your own) and details of any medication or allergies that they have, including dietary issues. Also, check about pets – again one of mine was scared by dogs. Thankfully here in the UK we do not have to worry about guns in the house. I also confirm with the hosting family how many people will be there, the guest list and that my children will be supervised at all times. Check what the plans are – I made it clear that there must be no scary movies and video games must be age-appropriate. I would also get the host phone number just in case.
Make an action plan with your kids – I always made clear to my boys that they could ring home at any time and if they wanted to come home they could – they didn’t have to justify it in any way. One phone call and I would be there. Kids get used to their own bed and routines and it is very normal to feel homesick and they don’t have to stay the whole night in a strange place. Plus they could ring me to say goodnight if they wanted to. The fact was that I had more separation anxiety than they did!
We hope this guide has helped you learn a little more about how to prepare your child for their first sleepover. Just remember: sleepovers should be fun and safe for everyone. If your child isn’t interested yet or ever, that is totally fine!