Sometimes I have a down day too. I try and remain positive and to see the best of everything and every one, but today has scratched at my very being and coping mechanisms.
I am a doer, an organiser, a mover, I am capable, I am a coper, I am the best I can be (I know I sound like something out of dollshouse there), but today I have been beaten.
Today I went to have my stitches out, I was sick at the hospital, I was sore on the drive home and in pain. I dropped MiniMad at preschool and came home to try and do a home blessing, which is my normal Monday routine. I put the meet and home made pasta sauce in the slow cooker and tried to do the polishing, but I couldn’t.
So I decided to make a cup of tea, but the kettle was too heavy, so I had a glass of milk and sat down to read some of my blogroll. The the phone rang, it was the preschool MaxiMad had been crying for his mummy, for me. So I went and collected him, in the 5 minutes it took to collect him, he had cried himself to sleep. I felt like a failure.
I rang my lovely friend who had looked after MiniMad whilst I went to the hospital this morning and she collected MaxiMad from school for me.
Then we all curled up on the couch and watched Star Wars, MiniMad was introduced to Darth Maul and then we watched MaxiMad play it on the wii and waited, we waited for MadDad to come in and take over.
And home he came and cooked the pasta and tended to us all. I am not used to being useless, I mange when when I shouldn’t. I am a mum and I need to be there for my family. I am tired and I think it is catching up on me.
So I am going to take it easier, I will manage, I have to. But I needed a little self pity and to let it all out. So tonight I am having a blip, a pause, a little wobble. It isn’t my first and it certainly wont be my last.
Until then ther is always …
Comments are closed.