And the beat goes on 11

I would love to think that my mothers life was so precious that time stood still or even blurred in to the slow motion that you get in films, where every second lasted more than a minute.  I would like to say that we are mourning her in the old fashioned way, but with two boys aged four and five and Christmas things have had to carry on with some semblance or normality.  Not that I haven’t grieved, I have and still am and will be for a long time yet.  I am sad in front of the boys and they both know it is OK to be sad too and that Mummy and Daddy are missing Grandma and we are happy to talk about her or explain things as best we can.


The boys had Christmas lunch with my MIL and FIL, but insisted on coming home for Christmas Dinner on the evening, so we had the works and set a place for mum.  We have also been saying a prayer for her each evening too.

We spent a quiet boxing day at home, playing playmobil Dragons and Knights and cuddling in front of the television.

We also went to the Social Clubs annual Christmas children’s party (although I spent most of it in the house with my brother), the boys had a whale of a time with their cousin (who we fear is channeling mum and is currently known as Mini Marge, due to her headstrongness and temper) and danced the night away.

We also made sure that we had a get together on Wednesday at my house (which was planned for mums), in fact I went and collected the steaks she had bought for the event and I had far too many Irish coffees with baileys, but it was so nice to spend time with my brother and his family.

But how are we?  I am not sure, we are coping as a unit, but it is hard.  For one I think I am still in shock.  I need to start organising things and get the funeral sorted.  The boys are missing Gran, but we are talking about it.  Maxi has started to have nightmares, so we are dealing with that.  I have ordered the books suggested from Amazon and am looking forward to them coming.

We have also received some chinese lanterns that we are going to launch after the funeral, to which both the boys want to come (although I am not keen on having them come to the cemetery).  We are meeting with the funeral director on Monday, but are aware that there is likely to be at least a two week wait for a funeral.

I am so glad I have the boys and my darling husband to keep me strong.  I do hope you all had a good Christmas and have a blessed New Year.