For me there have been times when just getting out of bed have been a struggle. When I have felt like I wanted the world to swallow me up whole and spit me out. I have cried at the injustice of life and asked “why me”?
Why am I the one who suffered the loss of my babies? Why I am the one who’s father died in an industrial accident? Why do have have a higher risk of cancer than others? Why did my mastectomy go wrong and lately why am I all along and why has my mother died?
But the thing is life goes on. It carries on regardless of how I feel or what is happening around me. So I have learned to live. I have learned how to grab the life I have with open arms and breath it all in. To look for the small joys in each day and to live my life, rather than allow life to dictate my moods.
I am a fighter, I have so much to live for. I have a wonderful family, who I adore and love spending time with. I will not allow life to take this away from me. Yes I have been in some very dark, dangerous and downright scary places and my mood has not always been as positive as this, but I took steps to live.
I had cognitive behavioral therapy, I sought the help of professionals and I accepted that there are things in this life that I can never change, no matter how much I try, no matter how much I worry over them. So slowly I am learning to change myself. I am learning that no one is responsible for my happiness but me.
I might be more susceptible to various cancers, but I made hard decisions and I chose that I have been born to live. Life is my passion
I admire your spirit. I don’t feel I have done anything other than existed. Survived. That is the way it is with me. I admire anyone who lives their lives. Good for you!
Your Comments oh boy. I never know what to say in these situations. When I am so overwhelmed by someones strength and spirit. Life is your passion, and gosh do you know how to inspire and ignite it in others xx
oh boy. I never know what to say in these situations. When I am so overwhelmed by someones strength and spirit. Life is your passion, and gosh do you know how to inspire and ignite it in others xx
I can’t top Mrs Scruff’s words. You are one of the most supportive people I’ve met since I started blogging and you are an absolute inspiration. We could all do with learning what you did through your CBT. It’s a while since I had mine, and I need to remind myself that ultimately I am responsible for my own happiness. I’ve been feeling really low for the last week, and your post has served to wake me up. Any time you want to chat/offload, you know where I am. x
I’m so glad you are living your life positively, we all have fears but certain events in life can totally change your out look.
For us it was Sophies diagnosis, we live every day like it is the last and she has adopted that attitude and just gets so much out of every minute, it’s wonderful to see.
You cannot live in fear of one thing, have you seen the way those bus
drivers drive? No one can predict what is around the corner.
I just know that you are so strong, you have a wonderful family and your attitude and fight should be bottled!
I admire you Jen.
Take care ((hugs))
Xx
It is a tough realization, that no one else can make you happy. But such an important one, you sound very empowered. Its easy to live with grace when things are going swimmingly, and so much harder when life keeps on throwing you blows, but you have a gift for it.
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The sentiment in your last two lines is exactly how I want to live my life. You’re an inspiration to us all, Jen. x
@Vic: It is a hard lesson to learn, but so liberating when you do
Gosh Jen, you and I both!! Like yourself life for me has never been an easy ride, but you know what we only get one crack at it, so we have to give it all we’ve got.
I have no time for self pity and I thank god for every new day that I am here to enjoy my boys, friends and family.
I am a glass half full type of person and I think you are too.
It’s totally liberating when you come to the realisation that the only person that can make you happy is YOURSELF. x
@Carole: I have had some really dark and down days and weeks and I think that it was an epiphany when I realised I am responsible fore my own happiness
Oh my goodness. If I had just an ounce of your courage, positivity and spirit I would be twice the woman I am now. Good for you for your passion for life. I am in awe.
@mummy@bodfortea: Thank you for your wonderful comment. I guess when you ahve come slow close to not being here, you grasp each day with both hands. That is not to say I dont have down days too
You are an inspiration Jen and a bloody good friend. Sorry for saying bloody on your blog. Twice.
If you are feeling down come back to this post. You are an amazing lady for your fighting, vibrant spirit and your ability to inspire such qualities in others.
You are such an inspiration. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think I could. You are amazing, so positive and so full of life and such a sweet and lovely person. I wish I could have that outlook. hugs and keep fighting. x
Your Comments
I cannot imagine what you have been through. I think you have made n admirable choice, to be positive.
I think people who have been to those dark plces appreciate life so much more.
When my Dad died, my 4 month old baby kept me going.
We often say people who have illnesses are brave. I think quite often they have no choice and just get on wih it. We all need to appreciate life more.
Two of my friends are in their thirties and have breast cancer. It scares the hell out of me and makes me think a lot about life.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you stop by mine again,
Tracy
I feel where you are coming from, I have been there too. If someone told me they had been through all I have I wouldn’t believe them, that so much could happen to one person. I do sometimes wonder why me and why can’t life just give me a break, but ultimately I have to stay strong and keep going for K, and now for the baby I am carrying aswell. I often think if it wasn’t for K I would have given up years ago. People tell me how strong I am, and how much they admire me for being brave, which is lovely they think these things of me, but I wish it didn’t have to be like that. That I hadn’t had to go through so much grief and stress. But this is the hand I have been dealt, I am going to take these ‘ere lemons and make lemonade! It’s also given me a zest for life, when you have been forced into such dark places and peered over the precipice into despair and insanity, it makes you grab life with both hands and I appreciate everything good that I have now. Your positivity is an inspiration and it’s comforting to know I am not the only one who has been through more than their fair share, that I am not a horrible person that deserves and brings on all these things myself