bad times


RIP Margaret Elizabeth – my mum 77

Mum with Maxi (16 March 2005) Margaret Elizabeth 26 September 1943 to 24/25 December 2010 Tragically my brother found my mum dead on Christmas morning.  It appears she died not long after talking to me on Christmas Eve at 9.45pm.  She was making a cup of tea in the kitchen to take to bed with her. Dearest Mum I wish I could gather my thoughts together enough to provide the words I need to say how much I am missing you already. My heart is breaking at the thought of never speaking to you again, but I am so glad our last words were I love you and our last conversation […]


Sometimes Mothering is harder than hard

I have a neighbour, yes we all have them, but I have one who manages to make me feel terrible with just a single glance and a turn of phrase.  She is always beautifully turned out, drives a brand new sports car, runs her own successful business,  has a hot tub in the garden and one perfectly dressed nine year old boy who in her eyes can do no wrong. So this morning when I am screaming at the boys like a fishwife to get in the car or we will be late, hollering my lungs out to leave the drink at home and just get in the car, who would […]


Bringing out the Lioness in me

Just don’t go upsetting my cubs in front of me, as it will bring out the lioness in me.  She has surfaced this week and I am still upset and angry about how my boys, Mini in particular has been treated. Every Monday there is a youth group at the local church and although I don’t attend church, I want the boys to have experience of church and the fact that this is help in the church itself, rather than a hall really appealed to me, in such that it demystifies such a quiet place. So I registered the boys and they went for the first time a fortnight ago.  They […]


drowning

I am struggling at the moment, to find my get up and go, yes as per all the cliches it has got up and gone. I had blood tests last week and I am already anemic again, my lips are splitting at the sides and the junior doctor who discharged me after my last transfusion didn’t order the additional tests I needed, which means I still don’t have a date for further investigations. But my blood results showed that it is unlikely I have pernicious anemia as my B12 level was still up thanks too the injection I had received.  I feel like sitting and crying, I keep asking why me, […]


Been There, Done That 20

We have come a long way baby, we really have since 2000. I used to be a hard nosed career woman living in Berkshire with the love of my life. I  loved my job, I was good at it and relished the challenges it brought.  I managed projects, relocated 600 people in to a brand new 160000 square foot campus and I did it with time to spare and nothing but commendations.  I was super organised and a super organiser!! In 2000 my dad was fatally injured in an industrial accident.  They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, well this tested us all and MadDad was a tower […]