lonely

Mourning more than the children being at school

 in brca1 / first day of school / hospital / lonely / school by

Since I am laying it all bare about how I feel about the boys being at school, it is only fare that I really admit as to why I feel so bad. Back in July 2008 I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, an oophorectomy is the technical term.  As you may know I carry a genetic spelling mistake which makes me very high risk for a number of cancers.  My Aunt died from ovarian cancer and my other Aunt who had already had a hysterectomy had primary peritoneal cancer (she is currently in remission).  So my risk of ovarian cancer was over a 60% lifetime risk. We talked to […]

The odd one out

 in lonely / mini mads / school / The minimads by

I have that follow feeling in my tummy, the one I describe to the boys as butterflies, but truth be told it isn’t.  It is a physical pain caused by dropping them off at the school door each morning.  At least today Mini went in without the tears and upset of last week, at least Maxi always runs to be in, but I walk away with a heavy heart and a hollow emptiness that nothing can fill. I used to have a career when we lived down South, I was a successful Facilities Manager and my colleagues were shocked by the fact that I was pregnant.  I was the most un-maternal […]