There have been times when I have screamed at the top of my lungs to an empty beach “why me? What have we done to you? Why do I have to pout up with all this shit?”. There have been times when I have had to lock myself in the loo to hide the tears from my boys, haven’t they seen enough suffering in their short lives?
Then I read a blog like Ashley’s and it reminds me that life is all about choices, bot just the ones we actively chose to make, but the ones we chose to ignore too. It is my choice to make the most out of each and every day, to believe the universe will provide and that we live everyday, not survive it, but enjoy it. That I am going to chose joy. That I am going to embrace my family and journey with them ever forward and yes I might be scared, but I will always travel my path with dignity, my husband and boys by my side and a heart filled with optimism and love.
I am going to try and live in the hear and now and watch my children with their joyous abandon and let its infectiousness rub off on me. I am going to make time for my husband and our marriage and I am going to enjoy reclaiming some me time and finding some inner peace amongst the white noise of everyday life. I am going to do once thing everyday and do it well.
I am choosing joy.
We had a pretty peaceful start to this week, as we had so much snow that the school was closed all week and MadDad struggled to get in to work. We tried to make the most of each others company and use the time wisely. We really all enjoyed putting up our Christmas tree and inside decorations (there is far too much snow for the outside ones yet) and took pleasure in the simple things like hot chocolate and marshmallows. But the greatest lesson for me this week has been that peace is not something that is always an external thing. We had a nightmare on Saturday morning when the heavy […]
With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children, England mourns for her dead across the sea. Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit, Fallen in the cause of the free. Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres, There is music in the midst of desolation And a glory that shines upon our tears. They went with songs to the battle, they were young, Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow. They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted; They fell with their faces to the foe. They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: […]
I am so grateful to Interflora who sent be a bouquet of flowers just because they like my blog. They even matched them to the blog colours too. I am grateful that it is my mums 67th Birthday today, after her hospitalisation and all that came with it earlier in the year, I didn’t think we would get this far and we have and she is doing really well. I am grateful that she got on to a special COPD trial at the local hospital, even though it makes me taking her twice a week. I am grateful that we have had a week of Mini going to school without any […]
I am grateful for my wonderful boys, who came with me to the car boot sale and really behaved in this heat (yes I really am that pale). We are grateful for cool paddling pools in hot weather. We are grateful for plentiful elderflowers and have made yummy cordial. My beautiful rambling rose, which is full of buds and flowers, the whole of the bottom of our garden (and next doors) is filled with wonderful scent. The fragrant honeysuckle which has cover the boys playhouse from next doors garden. What are you grateful for this Sunday?
What feeds your soul? What to you need to enable you to live everyday? For me my family, my faith and my spirituality help me get through everyday, they help me find make some sense of the day to day struggles that we all call life. For me affirmations play a big role in helping me find calm and serenity during the day. They help keep me focused, balanced and calm. They also help me in exploring my thinking and expanding the way in which I approach issues that I have in my life. They help nourish me both mentally and spiritually. I am also trying to bring affirmations in the […]
I talked earlier in the week about the values I am trying to instill in to my children and this week we have been discussing kindness. Fellow Blogger Suzie at New Day New Lesson has a kindness club, so we have been talking about her weekly initiatives. What is kindness and why it is important? this is one of the things we have been discussing this week the quality of being warmhearted, sympathetic, considerate, charitable, pleasant and humane To be able to forgive The boys have been actively working on their acts of kindness this week and we had a great example by Mini at our community coffee morning yesterday. It […]
I spent a wonderful day yesterday with my Mum. For the first time since she was in hospital in March we spend the morning pottering round our local shops (yes I took and she filled my shopping trolley). We then came back to themadhouse and spent an afternoon as a family. So I thought a gratitude post was due. Things I am grateful for Sunshine – this makes such a difference to life, we shopped in town, hung washing on the line, went to the park and sat in the garden . Mum feeling happier – even though mum is not physically any better, she is mentally on the mend, she […]
Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. Guillaume Apollinaire This kind of hits it on the head for me at the moment. I need to stop all the hustle and bustle, all the pushing and pulling and just be. So this morning I am thankful for the boys returning from the shop with some lovely flowers and I bit my tongue about not having enough money.
This morning is such a contrast to yesterday morning. Yesterday the sun was beaming in the windows, we had the doors all wide open and spent the day in the garden, but this morning it is grey, dull and RAINING, but in some ways this only makes me feel so grateful that we made the most of yesterday and really enjoyed it. So some other things I am grateful for this Sunday. The Rain… yes the rain. We planted some vegetables and seeds yesterday and this rain is doing a pretty good job of watering in the raised beds. Warm porridge with maple syrup, our breakfast of choice at the moment. […]
Firstly an update on the shouting. We have had a few relapses, but it is actually getting easier. I have noticed a real difference, it is not my first reaction a situation. Also the fact that I have been unwell has meant that the volume button has had to be turned down with the boys too. This is good news, no actually this is great. On the few occasions I have had to raise my voice the impact has been immediate and it feels good not to be all fishwife. I have been discussing Jesus with the boys and they are both finding it hard to comprehend about the resurrection, so […]
As I write this I am tired, not just physically, but also mentally too. My mum is home, well at my home at the moment and visiting, arranging and organising has really tested me this last couple of weeks and will continue to do so I imagine. Firstly mum is going to be staying in TheMadHouse until we can arrange for stair lifts, which should have been done by the hospitals in-house social care and social work team, but the lady responsible for mum was off sick, so it was either stay in hospital (which she really didn’t want) or come home to me. The only other alternative was to move […]
First an update on my giving up shouting. I am trying and trying I am, I have not yet succeeded, but I am more aware of it, as are the boys. If I do shout they tell me off, but they also react. So I am still trying to give up shouting, just as the boys are trying to give up fighting! What is lent and what should it mean to me as a modern reluctant worshiper? I find this very hard to fathom, yes I know that it is a time of reflection and preparation for Easter. A time to consider Jesus sacrifices and also his time spent in […]
I am taking part in Floss at Troc, Broc and Recup’s pause in lent. we took part in the advent one and it was great fun and very informative for me and the boys. This is going to be more of a challenge for me, as there is less we can do to reinforce the message. So what is Lent, I have explained to the boys that lent is one of the most important times in the Christian calendar and is the 6 weeks build up to Easter. To keep things basic we explained that it is 40 days and nights, excluding Sundays, which represents the time Jesus spent fasting […]
What are we celebrating today?, Who was valentine? Well wikipedia says He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner — until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor — whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn’t finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. MadDad and I have told the boys it is a day for recognising the people you love and for standing up for the […]
Maxi getting excited over playing with his Fun Domino’s (a christmas present) I am grateful: My wonderful Saturday lie ins and being woken by my boys with a cup of tea. Living nearby the sea, I love the ever changing landscape the sea brings. The crocus’ just poking out their green tips in next doors garden Family dinners. That my mums hand has healed well and that they have popped a fibre glass pop on which is much lighter for her. That we have packed mums case and she is all set to go on holiday tomorrow That the boys adore their cousins and spent a lovely afternoon with my […]
There is no trouble so great or grave that is can not be diminished by a nice cup of tea Bernard-Paul Heroux Sometimes there is no words or actions that can make a week any better than it was, this week just gone was one of them. Mum broke her arm and mini mad has discovered a rage inside, which has started to cause issues at preschool. I have felt pulled in every which way. My mum is OK, sore and in a pot from fingertips to elbow and a sling, but she can still go on holiday to Florida with my brother next week and once she was all […]
All Change This is a new day One I have never lived before I stay in the now and enjoy each and every moment Sometimes I think that the New Year brings the need for change, for people to embrace the new, the shiny and look to the future. This is not a bad thing, goals, plans and aims are great things to strive towards, as long as we do it whilst living for the day. This is something that I have reminded myself of over the last year and I want to do so again, yes I am busy making plans for the year ahead, but I am also busy […]