We have been making strides in improving Mini’s behaviour with help and advice from Franki. It is really hard to see clearly when you are in the midst of horrible behaviour. But she has really given us the ability to clarify what we need to do and support when things are not on track.
So what are we doing?
- Firstly we have set realistic expectations with Mini. He has a reward chart with what is expected of him on and we also included Maxi on it so he didn’t feel singled out.
- We are making the actions achievable
- We are working together as a team. If he gets out of bed, we just tell him it is sleep time. We do not engage him at all. If we have to physically put him back in to bed we do, but tell him it is sleep time and then close the door.
- If she goes to bed well then he gets his star first thing in the morning for his cart.
- He gets a daily star if he completes a certain amount of his daily tasks.
- We are reinforcing positive behaviour
This are not perfect, but anything is an improvement on what we had. At the moment we are concentrating on getting Mini in to a good bed and sleep routine and then we will look at the other behaviour . I want to thank everyone for the comments, suggestions and support when I posted that we needed some help. I have spoke to the school and Mini is really well behaved whilst at school. The only time he is disruptive is when he isn’t challenged. So it appears that he holds himself together at school. I have also spoke to our Health Visitor and have the option of taking things further with her if the current situation worsens. However, we are really licky in that Franki and her colleague have offered us their support immediately, so we have no waiting times.
You’re right, it’s so easy not to see the ‘obvious’ things to do when you are in the middle of it. These all sound like achievable steps which I’m sure will work for you. Sleep deprivation is the worst thing ever in my book, so you’re right, it’s good to get that sorted before you attempt anything else!
That’s great to hear! We have established a marble system with the boys which I guess is similar to your reward system and that really helps. I hope it all goes better from now on xxx
You are doing brilliantly. Take it one day at a time.
Well done for getting help quickly. K is a ‘spirited child’ and I know how exhausting and demoralising it can be dealing with difficult behaviour on a daily basis. I’m reading a read called ‘raising your spirited child’ at the moment and I’ll let you know if it turns out to be any good x
Reading a book… not a read!
You guys are amazing parents, your already doing fabulously and I honestly think once we get some more plans in place you’ll have him sorted in no time, you are so motivated and willing to do what we suggest you’ve been a pleasure to work with so far. Can’t wait to finally come and meet you all very soon. P.S The letter is an awesome idea! X
It looks like you’re taking realistic, positive steps to deal with his behaviour. I particularly love the letter – something to keep him motivated and it’s always nice to be told how much you’re loved.
Sounds like you are making progress, well done.
I love the letter, what a lovely idea.
I’m so pleased it’s working for Mini, I know how tough it can be at times. Sounds like you are getting the support you all need and I love the letter. Good luck and hugs to the boys xxx