I have issues getting pregnant, staying pregnant and being pregnant. When I was expecting Maxi people actually thought I had a terminal illness. I was in fact suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. For me this meant that I vomited pretty much constantly and when I wasn’t vomiting I felt nauseous.
Imagine being so drunk that the room spins without having actually drunk anything.
Imagine lying in bed and the room spinning so much you had to lay with one foot on the floor, just so you believed that the room wasn’t actually moving.
Imagine now being able to look at a book without the letters feeling as though they moved.
Imagine that the smell of your husband, the man that you love more than anything in the world making you feel physically repused.
Imagine waking up with a mouth full of vomit.
Imagine wanting to hit the next person that told you ginger will help.
Imagine the only time you get any relief is when you are asleep, but being so scared to fall asleep incase you vomit and choke.
Imagine waiting ten years to have a child and then wishing that you weren’t pregnant and the guilt that you have to live with this every day of your life.
Imagine becoming so dehydrated that you do permanent damage to your liver.
Imagine being sick so many times the acid rots the enamel on your teeth.
Imagine the desperation of being in hospital on a drip and none of the anti-sickness drugs stop the sickness or the feeling of nausea for more than 45 minutes at a time.
Imagine the desperation of doctors who prescribed and tried so many drugs that are contraindicated in pregnancy to stop me being sick.
Imagine the husband that agrees to inject his wife in her butt three times a day just to ease the sickness. A husband that overcomes his own fears for the hope of a family.
Imagine a 36 week pregnant woman who due to vomiting so much and the unbalance of vitamins and minerals starts to hallucinate and is made to see a physiatrist to ensure the safety of herself and her unborn child.
Imagine being so desperate for some normality that you spend every penny you have looking for alternative treatments.
Imagine going to acupuncture as often as you could as the only time the room didn’t spin was when you had needles in you.
Imagine agreeing to a cholecystectomy at 20 weeks pregnant as you were told your life and the life of your unborn child were hanging in the balance.
Imagine sobbing but being tso dehydrated no tears came.
Imagine all this for week, after week, hour after hour for 38 weeks.
Then imagine falling pregnant five months later only for it all to start again.
There are no pictures of me being pregnant, it was not a happy time in our lives. MadDad had to resign from his position so that he could provide me with the care I needed.
This has not been an easy memory to relive. The only good things to come out of this were my two beautiful babies, but I live daily with the guilt that I felt during this time, the thoughts that went through my head. I wanted children so badly. We had lost twins at 20 weeks and also a singleton previously and I had put all hope of children away and yes I suffered from HG in both of those pregnancies too.
This is one of the only pictures I can find of me when pregnant with Mini, I was 8 months here.
Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a condition I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and I am sure that it played a large part in my postnatal depression too. But I was one of the lucky ones, my condition was discovered early and wasn’t palmed off as morning sickness. The treatment I received from medical professionals was second to none.
If you know anyone going through this then please point them in the direction of the Pregnancy Sickness Support.
Wow, I had no idea it could be that bad. The picture of you is a lovely one though – sorry I know that’s no consolation. xxx
Oh my goodness, that sounds utterly horrendous. I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience at what should have been a happy time time in your lives. It’s such a brave and honest post. Sending love xxx
You are the strongest woman I know and you are an inspiration to me as the mother I’d like to be. I just wish I knew you back when you were going through all this. I feel for you xx
It sounds so debilitating 🙁 I had huge problems getting pregnant and giving birth, but thankfully being pregnant was fine. x
I had absolutely no idea it could be so bad, I am so sorry you have had to go through such a horrendous time x
Awful. Just awful. I can’t even begin to imagine just how hellish it must have been for you. It makes me so cross when people dismiss HG as being a bit of morning sickness. They should read this!
Gosh, Jen, that is a gruesome experience. Thanks you much for sharing and re-living. I can only imagine the horrors you have gone through……I found normal pregnancy ‘problems’ bad enough. you must never feel guilty about whatever you felt during those times….the very fact that you did it more than once and persevered so much is quite incredible. Juliex
I was sick every day in my pregnancy but no where near as bad as this. My teeth sadly did rot through the vomit and I had to have a fair bit of work done on them afterwards.
You have my deepest sympathies. I too would not wish HG on ANYONE. This pregnancy has been by far the hardest and there are still some days where I get so upset reliving the early days. I too was lucky that my GP recognised I was serverely dehydrated and on the edge, and I did not have to fight for medication at all. He kept me sane and even on the meds I was a complete mess for months. Being so sick for so long is really isolating and makes you question everything around you- friendships, relationships, whether or not the pregnancy can even continue… I am so so sorry you suffered so much and I hope your post helps someone going through the same x x x x
Wow, now that’s what I call rough! Can’t imagine what that must have been like. I had really bad morning sickness for 20wks with my son but even that was extremely mild compared to what you went through.
Thank goodness you ended up with your two amazing boys! x
This post really makes you think, I knew that the condition was bad but didn’t realise how bad, I can’t even imagine what it must have been like!
Lovely photo 🙂 x
I can’t imagine being sick for that long. I had sickness and extreme fatigue in my pregnancies but no other complications.
It sounds like such an awful condition! It makes me feel lucky that my morning sickness was not as bad as this although at the time it felt it 🙁
It is so brave of you to share your experiences and I am sure this will be a comfort to others suffering the same. It really annoys me when people say it is just morning sickness, it is clear that it is in no way the same. I am so pleased you managed to get through such horrendous pregnancies and now have your amazing boys xx
I cannot imagine how awful that must have been. Being sick is one of the things I hate most and I feel so sorry that you had to go through this so many times x
I am so sorry I had no idea.
Don’t ever feel guilty though – that sounds awful and am glad it is over and you have your beautiful children.
Such a beautiful post and so nice of you to raise awareness about HG. Love that picture of you 🙂
It must have been an awful time, I can’t imagine what you went through. You shouldn’t feel guilty about the thoughts you had when you were pregnant though. It’s completely understandable when you were so ill. It’s obvious how much you love your children and would do anything for them.
Oh my God Jen, what an awful time you must have had! My sister suffered very badly and has been hospitalised during her pregnancies too, but luckily for her it would always stop by the time she was 12/15 weeks pregnant. You are a very brave woman you know xx
Oh Jen, that’s so awful. So sorry you had to go through so much. It’s an illness/condition I didn’t know very much about so thanks xx
Wow Jen – I knew nothing of this condition, and your post has really brought it home about how serious it is. Thank you for sharing such a personal post xx
I cried reading this as it hurts so much. I understand. I was also sick within 20 mins of giving birth and just cried and screamed that it was supposed to stop now. I was given injections for a number of days after the births too. The midwives said it was the hormones leZving my body. I just cried with sadness, frustration and from feeling so poorly. I could never do it again. It nearly broke me.
I never knew you had suffered HG. I am so sorry you had to suffer so badly. I am glad you had positive medical help but it shows that even without having to fight for the correct treatment how awful HG is. Thank you for pointing people in the direction of Pregnancy Sickness Support. I am a trustee of the charity and have just completed the Yorkshire 3 Peaks challenge in order to raise much needed funds for the charity – check out my website http://www.adventuresofadam.co.uk
Oh gosh, I can only imagine how hard this must have been to go through. Pregnancy is hard enough as it is, without being so sick too
I have to admit I knew very little about it – what an awful condition for anyone to have to suffer with 🙁 x
Thank you for sharing this with us & I am so sorry for your losses too. You are an inspiration and if just one person finds the strength to go to the Dr’s for themselves or can support a loved one or a friend who is suffering from this debilitating condition then you have made a difference.
It angers me that women’s health (esp around pregnancy/fertility/birth) is often filled with supersition, fear and misinformed views – women like you, sharing your story, ARE making moves in the right direction. One day I hope we have a medical system, a media and a society that will be more supportive and less critical over women’s health.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear you went through all of that. I’d heard of HG of course because of Kate but I had no idea how bad it actually is.
Thanks for sharing your story and making more people aware of how serious this illness is xx
How awful that you had to go through that and I’m very sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, as I had no idea that HG was that serious. x