How do you write? 20

One of the things that came out of blogcamp Manchester for me was the fact that it is key to develop your own voice or writing style and to stick with it thorough out your blog.

It made my day to listen to two strong,  unique and inspirationsal women discuss why they blog and how they developed their writing style.  Neither was apologetic for the things they did.  Muireann from Bangs and Bun is a funny, feisty and unforgettable powerhouse of words.  She isn’t afraid to use them and share the outcome of them with her readers.  I love the fact that she doesn’t police comments on the blog and acknowledges that people can have differences of opinion.

Jen from A Little Bird Told Me gave me some fantastic ideas on ways to add value to my blog and open up my readership.  She also taught me that every blogger needs a tripod, as yes all those amazing clothes shots are self portraights!  She also demonstrated that as bloggers when we have our own unique voice, we can all bring our own strengths to the party and highlighted this by showing how 10 fashion bloggers make an item of clothing look so different.

Writing has been on my mind since then, I have even dreamed about it for a couple of nights and I had to write this post to get it out of my system.

How I write

I write from the heart.  My words are often an outpouring of emotion from my heart on to the computer keyboard.  Often I never look back at a post once I have typed it and I can guarantee that there are a number of draft postrs in my dashboard that will never see the light of day.  I do not know any other way to write.  This is down to the fact that I am not and never have been a writer, I document moments in time on my blog.  I attempt to capture the essence of a moment and try to ensure that it remains for prosperity.

Sometimes this doesn’t make for easy or comfortable reading, but then that is fine, but I do believe that it means that people recognise me when they meet me.

How do we take that 2D voice, those flat words and ensure that they equate to our 3D person?  It it important that I am the person in real life that I am on the page?  For me it is key, but I would love to know your thoughts



20 thoughts on “How do you write?

  • Kirsty

    I think it’s very important to have a genuine ‘voice’ on your blog. I think trying to build a ‘personna’ that will sell better or be more appealing, but isn’t really you, is bound to fail because eventually the cracks will show and you won’t be able to maintain a facade. I think readers click with a voice that is really genuine.

    Having said that, obviously the online world is one particular situation and it’s normal for people to behave differently in different situations, but you’d expect online to capture a lot of aspects of their ‘whole’ personality.

  • Mary Poppins

    Super post and thanks for sharing. I am a blog from the heart kinda gal, and I am pretty sure what you see is what you get with me. When I meet bloggers, there is no confusion about who I am, I am Mary of Mary Poppins and indeed the comments are, that In RL I am just as I come accross on my blog. For me, that matters as I think it means there is no pretence, I am just ickle olde me, I don’t try to hard to be something I am not ( in all honesty I think perhaps bloggers can be one thing online, and something very different in RL, though for different reasons I can understand why this may be ) I do think it is important to have a voice, as long as it is your own. x

  • Joanne Mallon

    I think people are often very different online to how they are in real life – often they are much more confident in 2D. Perhaps this is why the online world is so compelling – we all have the opportunity to be funnier, sexier and wiser than we are elsewhere. It’s not so much a different persona, but rather a case of choosing which face you’re going to show the world. But ultimately it all comes from the same place, it’s all facets of the same person.

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Joanne Mallon » ingree with that and if you swear or are outta pus online, then you have to accept that people will see this as an extension of the real lfe you. Hard not to sometimes

  • The Moiderer

    I definitely write as me. But when I write, I will say things that I would never speak, even with people I’m friends with. So when you meet me, you may feel I am different from the voice you hear on my blog and on Twitter. I’m not, just the person I am is very well buried

  • Midlife Singlemum

    I started following one blogger and after one day with two potty-mouth tweets I’d had enough and unfollowed. However, I see this person’r comments all over the place and usually agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments expressed. So what should I do?

    Another blogger is well-known for potty-mouth copy and I avoided following this blog for ages. However, I did read a few posts and the person behind the writing came across as admirable – just trying to make a living and do the best for the children, as we all are. I relented and started following.

    It’s a shame about potty-mouth as i don’t like it, but sometimes it’s worth getting past it and concentrating on the whole person. BTW – what do you mean you are not a writer? Makes no sense to me.

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Midlife Singlemum » I do not have an issue with that in general, but I had my youngest child with me and I would not subject them to something like that. Thi person makes an effort t be large than life and courts controversy online, so they should accept thatitnwould colour my view of them where m children are concerned

  • Hannah

    I sometimes struggle with living up to the image I’ve created on my blog. It’s not that the voice isn’t genuine or what I write isn’t true – it’s more that there are so many parts of me that I don’t share that people aren’t aware of.

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Hannah » that is a little different, this blogger emailed me offended that I had felt the need t remove my children, when they go out of eir way to be outrageous and even commented on the that that. They foundit hard not to swear for an hour. I think that sometime you had to judge people

  • Melitsa

    I think people struggle in all sorts of ways to get their point across or say the right things either in person or using the written word. Occasions can sometimes bring out the best in people and occasionally the worst.

    I widely give the benefit of the doubt to most because I’m feel I always put my foot in my mouth, unintentionally. Some of us it’s our natural talent! We too speak from the heart.

    I also agree with Hannah. As a niche blogger i stay on topic. There’s so much more to me than what I write. Audio has helped a lot more with that although still on topic you hear the colour in my voice which I don’t share well in words.

    Love this post and how you think Jen.

  • Emma

    Hmmmm this is an interesting one. On my blog I try not to swear as I know my family read it but in real life I have an awful potty mouth! I try and control this around kids though so I REALLY hope I didn’t swear in front of your gorgeous boys!! xx

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Emma » The thing is person emailed me offended that I had id thati felt I had to keep my children away, which is vey odd s they go out of their way to be contentious and outrageous

  • Midlife Singlemum

    I totally agree with you where your children are concerned – it is entirely up to you what you do and don’t expose them to. And, it’s entirely up to you, for that matter, what you expose yourself to. My comment was more of a general opinion about people I come across online.
    Btw, I love the phrase ‘potty mouth’ and I’ve noticed people using it today on twitter. You may have made up a whole new phrase in the English lexicon 🙂

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Midlife Singlemum » I try not to be judgemental, but I think that people try and make themselves larger than life so at they get noticed in the online world, that this is their usp.

  • Mari

    For such an angel (which I’m sure you noticedwhen we met) when angered I can be incredibly foul mouthed. However I don’t swear in front of the kids and hardly ever on the blog unless the moment merits which is very rare.
    I have seen various potty mouth people on twitter and although strangely attracted to them it does make me feel scared/wary of them too.
    I too write from the heart and occasionally I have sworn but usually in moments of anger or frustration, and normally when I edit there’s always another equally good word I can use in its place. Once my anger has calmed down a bit 🙂

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Mari » I too can swear like a trooper, I used to manage contractors, so can talk e talk if I need too, but it is not something I want to expose my children too. It isn’t big and it int cleve. I was shocked by this person getting offended by the fact that I didn’t want the round my children. They make no bones about the fact they swear it is their usp

  • Tara

    I actually find this whole threat of comments very upsetting. It’s perfectly obvious to me who you’re talking about and that person would be devastated to think she’s been spoken about like this behind her back.
    It seems a general issue about online personnas has been turned into a personal attack on one person.
    The inference that she doesn’t know how to behave around children, when she has two young children of her own, is, well, offensive.
    I know this person. She is honest and big hearted and yes she is forthright, but she spends a lot of time around my two very impressionable children and has never once been anything but utterly lovely and decent to them.

    IMHO this is an issue between you and her; not something to share publicly on a blog post.

  • Linda

    Hi Jen, I think it’s wonderful to write from the heart, and brilliant that by doing so bloggers can find kindred spirits and friends who become friends in real life. However (and please don’t shoot me) I do think that when you are feeling low, it can become a double edged sword. Blogging from the heart can become quite dark and negative – I know life isn’t a bunch of roses – but sometimes I think it’s best to step away from the computer, pull your family around you and forget any pressure to blog – whether that pressure comes from within or anywhere else. I hope you don’t mind me saying that. And I hope you don’t mind me saying that your blog posts and tweets in recent days are weighing on my mind and I am worried about you – you have been through so much, I think you should be kinder to yourself. xxx

  • Susan Mann

    Excellent post. I like to them I am always me on my posts. I don’t know if I could be anyone else. I write as much from the heart as I can. x

  • northernmum


    Right I am annoyed,

    its not often I get annoyed….

    to describe yourself as not a writer is simply untrue,

    I am your reader, ergo you must be a writer.

    You can make me laugh and cry and think and trust me not many people can make me think…..

    The 2d world of twitter can be deceptive and I think I, as many are, are guilt of trying to carve out a corner for ourselves so people hear our voice. But if your online persona is hugely different to your real personality then you shouldn’t be offended if people invest and therefore avoid the online you (make sense?)

    Your blog has become a haven of mine, I visit often and dont tell you I have been as often as I should. Your writing suits my reading style and from the couple of times I have met you bith your prose and the ‘real you’ have left me wanting for more.

    So in my humble opinion you have a rather lovely authentic voice and a rather lovely personality.

    But please never say you are not a writer as I just enjoyed reading you



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