I watch him as he sleeps,
The gentle rise and fall of his chest,
The familiar sound as he breaths,
The ever present warmth of his skin against mine.
I close my eyes and try hard to sleep,
Focus on the out breath,
Try to feel peace at my core,
But in its place only panic.
What if something goes wrong,
What will I do,
How will I cope,
I wrote this on Thursday morning at about 3,30 am, whilst these irrational fears ate me apart with worry as MadDad had a small operation yesterday. Thankfully he is home and recovering, although the operation was twice as large as both we and the surgeon anticipated. As he is a young and fit chap (according to the doctors) he was allowed home to recuperate, but he is in a lot of pain, in fact he feels pretty much as you do after a c section without all the hormones and euphoria of a brand new baby!