Sometimes I feel as though I don’t know quite where I fit in this universe.
Almost as though I am living in a dream or dreaming of the world I am living in.
I wake often unable to tell the difference from real life and the dreams I must have had.
Unable to find things, as I must have put them away on in dream state.
A sudden sense of deja vu overtakes a moment, haven’t I done this before?
but where and when?
Am I just going through the motions?
How do I tell the difference between the actual and the perceived?
I want to wake up and make the most of the day.
To grasp the precious time with both hands and squeeze it dry.
To live a worthwhile life.
But how do I do this, what is goal, where is the end line?
I though once out of the monotony of dirty nappies and night feeds,
I would start to see the difference in the days.
But sometimes I feel that I am in a hamsters wheel,
forced to live out everyday again and again and again.
Maybe this is why I find some much joy in the changing seasons.
In the small things that fill my day.