RIP Margaret Elizabeth – my mum 77

Mum with Maxi (16 March 2005)

Margaret Elizabeth

26 September 1943 to 24/25 December 2010

Tragically my brother found my mum dead on Christmas morning.  It appears she died not long after talking to me on Christmas Eve at 9.45pm.  She was making a cup of tea in the kitchen to take to bed with her.

Dearest Mum

I wish I could gather my thoughts together enough to provide the words I need to say how much I am missing you already.

My heart is breaking at the thought of never speaking to you again, but I am so glad our last words were I love you and our last conversation filled with the anticipation of Christmas.

But more painful than my loss is the knowledge that my boys and niece have lost the most wonderful Gran in the whole wide world.

Now I am both you and Dad’s echo and you live on in your children and wonderful grandchildren.

We love you mum and we always will.

Mum with Mini (25/06/2006)

From a practical perspective, we will not have any idea what has or will happen until at least Wednesday.  I would really welcome some ideas on how to help the children through this, as we have told them both that Grandma’s heart stopped working and she has died, so they will not be seeing her again.  We also told then that Mummy and Daddy are sad and we have and will be crying, but it is OK to be sad and that they can ask any questions at all.


77 thoughts on “RIP Margaret Elizabeth – my mum

  • Vonnie

    Oh my darling, I am so so very sorry for your loss. It’s a terrible thing to lose a parent at any juncture, but particularly sad at Christmas. I am wishing you lots of strength and love to see you through the coming few weeks.

    The only thing I will offer in terms of the kids is that my middle two (nearly 5 and nearly 4) have really struggled with the concept of death. Lots of reassurance for them that they won’t die if they go to sleep, and just accept that they will have lots of questions xx

  • Harriet

    Dearest jen, I’ve just read this and I am so so sorry for you and your lovely family. I can’t offer much advice except to say that when my much beloved granny died when I was a bit older than the boys, but still too young really to understand. My parents told me exactly what you’ve told your boys. It must have worked because I remember now only the joy of a wonderful granny and not the sadness at all.

    I will be thinking of you all. Please do shout if you need an ear xxx

  • @wonderfour

    You’ve been on my mind since I read your tweet last night. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking this is for you and unfortunately have no advice. My heartfelt condolences, I hope you and your family will be able to find peace x

  • Joanne

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but it was very nice you got that last chance to speak with her before shes passed.

    When my husbands Gran died a few years ago, our children were 4 and 2, and it was mainly our 4 year old who noticed that she wasn’t around – as we had been visiting the hospital she knew that something wasn’t quite right.

    When she died, we explained very much the same as you, but that she had lived a very long life and once you have lived a long life then you go and become a star in the sky. She found it very reasuring that she could look up into the sky and see Granny Great shining down on her, wherever in the world she is. She still remembers her now and she’s 7. we make sure we have photos everywhere to keep her alive and talk about her.

    They came to the service – we explained that everyone there was celebrating her life and saying goodbye. They didn’t come to the buriel, they stayed in the car. It wasn’t until after that she asked “what was in the box” – which is only natural for a 4 year old.

    I can’t even imagine what you are gong through, it makes my heart sink that one day this will be me. My parents live in spain and quite frankly I don’t speak to them enough….

    Take the time to grieve, this is very important.

    I wish you and your family our heartfelt sympathy at this time.

    Joanne (jobywanuk)

  • notSupermum

    I read your tweet yesterday, how absolutely awful for you to lose your Mum so suddenly. You must be totally devastated, but from personal experience, I hope that remembering the happy times with your Mum will help you through this very difficult time. Take care x

  • Trish

    Oh Jen I can’t quite believe such a sad event should happen on Christmas Day. All the wonderful preparations you have been making for your boys to make it special. Such a shock for you all.
    I’m not sure how best to help your boys but what you are doing so far seems just right.
    With much love, Trish xx

  • Jean

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your mum had a beautiful, warm smile and certainly knew how to cuddle a baby! I wish you lots of strength to help you through the days and weeks ahead.
    When my dad died a few years ago we handled it much the same way as you with the kids. We used very simple language, but were careful to be clear and unambiguous so as not to confuse them. I don’t know if you will be having a wake, but I also gave them the choice to come and see their grandad when he was laid out. I think it really helped them to accept that he had died, and not just “gone away”.
    My thoughts are with you.

  • Rachael

    Darling Jen. I am so, so sorry for you all.

    I’m going to be practical on here, because right now you need that – you know I know all about that, having lost Dad. First of all have a look at the Winston’s Wish website, because there are some really helpful articles on there. It is good for them to see you crying – it really does help them to understand that you are sad, and I found that I would (and still do) explain that I am sad because I miss my daddy, and even now at 10, 8, 6 and 4 the simplest explanation, that Grandad’s heart just stopped working, seems to be the easiest way for them to understand what happened.

    There are some things that really help – get them to draw and write some pictures for her, and encourage them to draw as much as you can as it is a wonderful way for them to work out their feelings. Also, exercise always helps. I did quite a lot of grieving in a corner of a soft play centre, facing the wall, pretending to read a magazine whilst my children charged around burning off energy. And quite a lot when parked in the Tesco car park, when I was alone and could just howl without being interrupted.

    There are also a few books that really help – Goodbye Mog, The Sad Book by Michael Rosen, and the original version of No Matter What by Debi Gliori – which ends ‘love, like starlight, never dies’.

    So much love to you, my dear friend. xxxx

  • pip

    Your Comments
    I am so so sorry to hear this. I wish i could say or do something to make it all ok but i know that isn’t so. As others have said, loosing someone is always hard, but on Christmas day is just awful.
    I just want to say that i will be thinking of you all and sending you healing thoughts. Think of the good times and the love that was shared in her last momments.

  • Karen Jones

    Your Comments My dearest Jen, I just popped on twitter and saw a tweet to you. I am so, so very sorry to read you terrible news. I can’t believe that something so awful has happened at Christmas to such a wonderful family.
    I have very little experience of death, and none of a close relative, so am not much use to you there. Everything Rachel says seems like amazing advice to me. I do also agree that is must be ok for the boys to see you cry, and the most simple explanation at their age has to be the easiest to cope with.
    I am so, so sad for you, I know what a wonderful realtionship you had with your parents. I only wish I could have half that with my mother.
    Always here for you online or at the end of the phone anytime, day or night. If you all need some space or a break , you know you and your gorgeous family are always welcome here in Devon with us.
    I’m so so sorry Jen xxxxxxxxx

  • fenngirl

    Jen, I’m sorry, I have no wise words to offer having never been in your situation. I just wanted to send you love and say how sorry I am to hear about your mum. My thoughts are with you. xxx

  • vInTaGe VioLeT

    oh i’m so sorry to hear this – what a terrible shock for you and your brother, i think i’d be comforted to know you’d just spoken to her and told her you loved her – i think you have told the children exactly the right thing they are tougher than we think – love to you x

  • Lyn Blackledge

    How I feel for you. I lost my dad in June and have found that focussing on all the good things has meant I haven’t felt sad. We all need to deal with death in the way that suits us best. It is OK to cry. What I found was a wonderful outpouring of love from facebook friends I had never met as well as those I had. I hope that mantle surrounds you and yours too. (((((hugs)))))))

  • liveotherwise

    So sorry Jen, sending you all our love.

    There is a beautiful book called Lifetimes, Beginnings and Endings, that we bought when Tim’s dad was dying – it then helped when my sister died suddenly. The only thing I would say is to be consistent with whatever you tell them, my nephew and niece were confused by some stories of butterflies, some of stars, and some of heaven.

  • Leanne (SecondTimeMummy)

    I am so very sorry to hear such sad news, especially at this time of year. I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. My thoughts are with you all at this sad time. Sending you lots of hugs, prayers and love. Leanne and family xxx

  • Lorraine

    Oh Jen, I am so sorry to have read this and can’t even begin to imagine your grief. So much good advice has been given, and just continue to be the open loving mum that you are to your boys. My thoughts for you all at this time.

  • jay (@cosmicgirlie)

    Jen I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel pathetic in that all I can offer you is my thoughts and virtual love. I have no advice, but can only offer that you lean on your friends for all the support you can get. You and your family are in our hearts; we are thinking of you. xx

  • maggy, red ted art

    Oh my Jen, I am so sorry! That is such terribly sad news. Your mother was such a special person to you (and so thoughtful and kind, I remember you tweeting about her bday gift to you for example!)

    I hope you manage over the coming weeks.

    My suggestions to the boys: make either photo collage or a memory book with them – give them a chance to look at all the beautiful things they did with their grandmother and remember the happy times. When they are older, they will be able to look at it and remember. Add lots of photos, drawings and little sentence….

    Hugs to you all

    Maggy x

  • Swanbythelakeside

    Your Comments
    You looked after your mum so well, in so many ways we cannot imagine, and when times were difficult, and other people might well have given up. There will be such a big space in your life, when you have spent so much time helping someone and looking after it is so difficult to know how to begin. She must have learned so much from you and the boys, and you know how much you learned from life with her. I suppose the only comfort is that she is with your father now, who she missed so much. Thinking of you and I know you will take comfort also from all the good things she has left behind in your heart.

  • Sally

    Can’t begin to imagine how you must all be feeling today, but I’m glad (if not surprised) to see how many lovely friends you have sending you love and strength, including me.

    In terms of practical advice for kids, my grandparents died when I was about Maxi’s age, and my parents told me they were very old and it was a natural part of life that when you had a full life, you moved on and new people were born, and we were very lucky to have always known our grandparents loved us so very much.

    My Mum always said that death is very sad but only for the people left behind, because we miss the person who has gone, because we loved them so much. We made photo albums which helped preserve precious memories and also, we were allowed to choose one thing of theirs that we we kept – for example, I have a book of poetry that belonged to my Grandmother that she used to read me at bedtime, and I now read that to Flea.

  • Cass@frugalfamily

    I’m so sorry Jen and I’m thinking of you and your whole family. If you need anything at all doing, let me know and I’ll be happy to help you.

    I think you’re doing everything right with the boys, when my mam died i said similar to Bethan, who was devastated as she was excepetionally close to her. We made a little photo album of pictures of my mam so she could look through it whenever she wanted to. About a week after she died, Bethan told me that the night before she’d been on a picnic with Nana in her dream and they were going to do it again whenever she got too sad.

    Even now, at 8, she has a few tears every now and again because she misses her Nana and she likes to sit together and talk about the things that were special between her and her Nana. She collects buttons because she remembers that she used to play with my mam’s button box when she went round.

    After a while, she also found it comforting to watch our home movies that have my mam on them but it’s probably a bit soon for that for you.

    Thinking of you

    Lots of love
    x x x x

  • Deer Baby

    Jen – I’m just so terribly sorry. What an immense shock for you and the whole family. I’m glad for you that you got to have that final conversation with her. Thinking of you. Much love, Alison xx

  • cartside

    I am so truly sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts. It is so particularly hard at Christmas, we’ve been through a major loss on Christmas day 2 years ago and Christmas just isn’t the same any more.

    Lots of good suggestions in the comments already – a memory book, a photobook, talking about times spent together, keeping the memories alive. Putting things simply. Cubling still remembers although she was not only 2 and she now at almost 4 asks for her uncle to come back, so only now does she realise the reality of death, that they don’t come back. Lots of explaining, again and again. Above all I found that photos help keeping memories alive.

    It’s also important to explain why someone died so they don’t get so scared. It’s difficult though – I explained that my mum was old (she wasn’t that old) and occasionally Cubling will ask older people “are you nearly dead yet?” which of course is highly embarrassing. So being old or ill may be too general as they may be scared of any illness or think that anyone who looks old to them may be about to die.

    Please do get in touch if you want to know more about how we explained death to the kids, and what worked and what didn’t for us.
    Thinking of you in this very sad time for you and your family Steffi x

  • Kate

    Jen, I saw your tweet last night and my heart just sank. As you know, I lost my Dad close to Christmas but nothing like this. A sudden death combines grief with complete and utter shock and disbelief that makes it harder to bear.

    I have no experience of dealing with children through and during a loss because my Dad was long gone by the time they were born. I have however told my kids about the death of pets. They have so far been fairly pragmatic about it which has descended into bizarre conversations about heaven and Devon (don’t ask!) but I would say your approach so far is a good one. Take it a step at a time. They will handle it differently and you may need to have a different approach for each child.

    Big hugs to you and yours, and I’m really sorry for your loss.

  • English Mum

    Just come back onto the web to see your tweet. So very sorry for your loss. I have no useful advice, just a message from a friend – we’re thinking of you all x

  • Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst

    Oh Jen, I am so, so sorry for your loss. What an awful shock for you and your family. I’m so pleased you spoke with your Mum on on the phone on Christmas eve, and that you exchanged ‘love’ so the last words between you are special and precious for you now. That’s incredibly important. I don’t have any advise on for the death of a loved one with small children, mine are teens+plus. But the way you’ve described what you’re already doing sounds just perfect, letting them know you’re so very sad, crying yet explaining simply, why you’re crying. I wish I could give you a HUGE ((((hug)))).

  • Mummy's Little Monkey (@Jax2000)

    There’s nothing I can say to make this awful time any easier, except I’m so sorry that this happened to you, particularly at this time of year – when family is even more cherished and treasured, and their absence is felt even more keenly. I hope it brings you some comfort to know that so many of your on-line friends are thinking about you, and your family. xxxx

  • Mumra

    I don’t have the right words, but so sad to hear your news.

    When i lost my brother i found comfort in this poem..

    “Death is nothing at all

    I have only slipped away into the next room

    I am I and you are you

    Whatever we were to each other

    That we are still

    Call me by my old familiar name

    Speak to me in the easy way you always used

    Put no difference into your tone

    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

    Laugh as we always laughed

    At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

    Let it be spoken without effort

    Without the ghost of a shadow in it

    Life means all that it ever meant

    It is the same as it ever was

    There is absolute unbroken continuity

    What is death but a negligible accident?

    Why should I be out of mind

    Because I am out of sight?

    I am waiting for you for an interval

    Somewhere very near

    Just around the corner

    All is well.

    Nothing is past; nothing is lost

    One brief moment and all will be as it was before

    How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again”

    Thinking of you.

    Sarah x

  • Nickie@Typecast

    Thinking of you at this difficult time x
    FWIW, I think the way you have explained to the boys and the way in which you have told them how you are feeling and inviting them to ask questions is the perfect way to help them deal with the situation x

  • Barenakedmummy

    I’m so sorry to hear that this tragedy has hit your family. I know that losing ones parent is a hard thing to do at any age and time but know that you have many friends (real and online) who will be here to help and support you in any way they can over the coming days and months.
    I think what you have told the boys is the right thing to do it – no hiding behind fakeisms but telling them in a gentle way. They too will mourn in their own special way but they need to be a part of it.
    All my love to you all

  • Chris at Thinly Spread

    Jen my thoughts are with you. I am so very sorry. I know you will handle the situation with your boys with all the love and care with which you handle everything else that comes their way. Sending you so much love. Chris xxx

  • Tattie Weasle

    I am so sorry your Mum died and I send you lots of hugs right now. You are doing everything right just go with the flow. Truly there is no right or wrong as such. My children were 2 adn 5 when there Great Gran died. Thery joined in with the service and yes they did ask what was in the box and we told them it was their Great Gran’s old body which she didn’t need anymore. We told them about what happens next by saying we weren’t sure oursleves but that we knew we’d see her again. We have lots of photos of her and all the rest of our relatives which we talk about and we tell stories about. It helps give everyone a sense of place and continuity.
    As for you and how you do, don’t worry about anyone else do as you feel, it will be the right thing.
    Take greatest care.

  • dbs

    So sorry for your loss.
    My Dad died almost eight years ago and my kids were in Grades 1&3. One thing I would recommend is a book called “The Next Place” by Warren Hanson. We read this book together as a family lots of times and we also kept a memory journal of our thoughts about my Dad. Hope this helps.

  • Jo Guy

    Jen and all your boys big and small,

    My thoughts are with you at this horrible time … I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through or feeling. I consider myself very fortunate that we haven’t yet had to deal with anything such that you are.

    In terms of the boys all I can tell you is what we have told E from day one … when you die, your body stops working, but that the people we love are still alive in our heads and hearts as our love for them and memories are what keeps them alive to us. In terms of the “what happens when you die”, we have tried to be very honest about situations … your heart stops beating because it wasn’t working properly or the doctors would try really hard if they could but the bits inside you were too broken. We have never told him someone has “just gone to sleep” – we have said that when you die it looks like you are sleeping but have always re-enforced the love and memories point I mentioned earlier. I guess we picked that them because we are all on this earth such a short time all we ultimately leave is an impression on those around us – our love and shared memories.

    One last thing you might want to consider which a friend of ours did when she lost her mother was to ask the children what they remembered most about granny – she then put this in a letter and got the celebrant to read it out at the funeral after the eulogy … it was a lovely way for the children to be there (they weren’t physically there) and also really recognised the fantastic grandmother she was.

    Big hug from all of us.

  • Domestic goddesque

    I am so terribly sorry Jen. So terribly sorry for you and you brother and your family. I have no words of wisdom, no helpful suggestions at all but please know I am thinking of you. If my prayers are any help, they are yours. DG

  • Crystal Jigsaw

    My dear friend, it really is almost impossible to find the right words at a time like this when you should be celebrating and having a wonderful time. It doesn’t bear thinking about how difficult it must be for you and your family; losing someone so close is something that all of us will never find a reason for. But mourning that loss is something we all need to do. Telling the boys the truth, in the simplest terms, is definitely the way forward. They are bound to cry, it will affect them deeply, but they have a most wonderful mum and dad and they could never be sad for long.

    You have so many friends on here, the support you have received shows what an amazing person you are, and through us all, I hope you can talk about your loss in the coming weeks and months, allow yourself to release any pent up frustrations you may feel, and ask for our help if you need to be consoled. To hear about your lovely mum through your blog posts will not only bring our communities closer, but it may also help you to deal with this awful time.

    My deepest sympathy.
    Kathryn xx

  • Expat Mum

    Your Comments
    Argh – I thought I was reading a memoriam post about your mum having died at Christmas a few years ago, and then I looked at the dates. I am so very sorry for you and your family. She looks so lovely. Thank goodness you had such a warm, loving conversation with her the night before.
    I would echo what a lot of commenters have said, – that you have to go through the grief and not be afraid to let the children see you cry nor try to get them to “be brave” etc. This is not the time for a stiff upper lip.
    My thoughts will be with you this week.

  • Liz@VioletPosy

    You know I’m thinking of you, and I am so so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how you must feel.

    29 years ago today the wonderful Grandmother who bought me up died, I was 9. Everyone thought that ‘stiff upper lip’ was the way to go not to upset me. But I felt that because no one else was crying or talking about it, I wasn’t allowed to do either. Even now I’m not very good with grief, I just repress it. Let them in and see how you feel. All my love xxx

  • Betty

    So very sorry your mum has passed on. I think you have explained things well to your children. I only know what a Baptist funeral is like and ours are celebrations of life, of passing but in the knowledge we will meet again. Betty x

  • Vintage Vicki

    Jen – I am so sorry to hear this news. I think the best way is to be as honest as possible with the boys. We found this the best approach with my youngest nieces/nephew when we lost Grandad earlier in the year.

  • Suzanne

    Jen, I am so so sorry to hear about your mum.
    We also have lost a member of our family over Christmas, it’s such a tricky time.
    There is some sound advice in your comments from all your friends, and you are an amazing mum.
    God bless, thinking of you.
    Suzanne x

  • Tracy B

    I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have it covered where your children are concerned. I to, am a big believer in being completely honest and letting them react as they see fit, answering all their questions and being there for much needed hugs. My thoughts and prayer are with you all xxx

  • Emma

    I’m so, so sorry to hear about your Mum and am sending huge hugs to you and the family. I really think that honesty is the best policy with the boys. When my Dad died my youngest brother was only 8 and he was pretty much ignored and still feels now that he’s never dealt with it! Let them share in your grief and remember what a wonderful woman she was. My thoughts are with you lovely xxxxx

  • Jazzygal

    I am so very sorry to hear this tragic news about your mum. I saw your tweet on Christmas Day and you’ve been on my mind ever since.

    I can only imagine what you’re going through so I hope you find the strength to continue. Sounds like you’re doing a great job with the children.

    When my mother-in-law passed away we explained the situation to our boy (ASD) and brought him to the funeral. he also had the opportunity to see her as she lay in her casket and to say “Night Night” to her.

    xx Jazzy (VaLOD1)

  • Rosie Scribble

    So very sorry to hear this Jen. I saw your tweet earlier in the week and my heart went out to all of you. You know where we all are, do call on your blogging friends when you are ready, we’re all here for you. Hugs xxx

  • Floss

    Oh Jen, so sorry. What a time for this to happen. We’ve spent our first Christmas without my mum, too, but of course we had so much warning, quite the opposite to your situation. Our boys had lots of time to prepare, but I guess the thing with your much younger sons is that they have seen their lovely grandma being ill and beginning to struggle, so they can perhaps understand that death is a natural process and that it leads on to a better existence for their grandmother in heaven, where she still cares for them.

  • Carole

    I have only just read about your sad news Jen, and know exactly how you are feeling right now as I lost my dearest Mum 5 years ago and it is the hardest thing to bear.

    As you know I have two boys and had some advice from a councillor about how children deal with grief just before my Mum past away. She explained to me that children dip in and out of grief and one minute can be very distressed and the next acting as if nothing has happened – this is normal!

    I was also given a lovely book called ‘Lifetimes’ which explains life and death to children in a simple way that they can understand. It’s a very moving book and I was so glad we had it as we could read it together. It helps us to remember that dying is as much a part of living as being born.

    Jen I would very much like you and your boys to have this book if you could email me your address I will post it to you:- email

    You, your boys and family are in my thoughts

    With deepest sympathy Carole

  • Ella

    Jen, I was so very sorry to read about your mum, I can’t imagine how you have managed to get through this time when everyone else seems to be celebrating Christmas.

    My boys have been very up and down this year since their grandpa died but we found reading books very helpful, The Sad Book is one we would always have a group cry after reading. We also made memory books. We took all the boys to the funeral and they were made to feel very much part of the service and they released balloons afterwards.

    Thinking of you and sending you a huge hug xx

  • Sew Scrumptious

    Your Comments
    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. What a shock for you. I hope you are ok. When Izzy’s gran died we found a book called Always and Forever very good. I’ll put a link below. The story is about loss and sadness and remembering people but in a really child friendly lovely way. We still read it a lot. I think that children accept death much more easily than adults as they are much more matter of fact about it. Izzy now talks about her grandma being in heaven with the cat! We also have lots of photos around and chose a special photo for Izzy’s bedroom. Perhaps you could also go to a local church and light a candle with your boys. Will be thinking of you. x

  • Jo

    Jen, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. xxxxx

    We told J that he couldn’t meet his Special Nanny because they needed another angel in heaven but he could talk to her whenever he wanted because she was now a star in the sky watching over him so all he had to do was to look at the stars and he would know she was there.

    sending you big hugs (xx) Thinking of you all x

  • Heather Davis

    Jen I just saw this on facebook. I am so so so sorry for your loss. It’s wonderful that you got to speak to your mum the night before and that your last words with her were happy ones. It sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing with the boys. Just be honest with them. Much love and big hugs to you and all your family. Take care xx

  • Wendy

    just saw your tweet about buying clothes for the boys. Have been away and just catching up. I haven’t been reading your blog for long. I am so sorry I can’t imagine how you ae feeling but I am thinkin gof you and your family xx

  • LauraCYMFT

    So sorry to hear such sad news. Your words to your mum are lovely. I think being honest with children is always best and just trying to explain the best way you can to them. It sounds like you are doing that anyway. Thoughts are with you and your family at such a sad time.

  • marketingtomilk

    I have thought about this one myself as my youngest is so very close to my mum. You will muddle through, but you have the foresight, sageness and love to make the decisions that are right for you and for them. You are a wonderful mum Jen, just as your mother was to you, and that will get you all through this.
    I love your description of yourself as the “echo”. It is perfect.
    I am so sorry that this should happen at this time of year, but happy that you will have tender final memories.


  • Julie

    I’m so sorry to read this post. I’d popped by to say Happy New Year (which of course still applies – all the best for a wonderful healing 2011). I’ll be thinking of all of you. You must still be feeling very raw about it all. Thankgoodness you had just spoken to her and you know she was filled with love and in all probability happily making a cup of tea and completely unaware.
    I think that absolute honesty with the children is definitely the best thing. We’ve had a number of deaths since we had the kids, including most recently my miscarriage, and we’ve always been pretty blunt about what has happened – but also talked about why is it okay to be very sad and cry – and why you can still be happy about other things too and not to feel bad about that.
    All the best, take care of yourselves. Juliex

  • imitation jewelry

    So very sorry to read about you Mum’s death. Hard at any time but doubly so at Christmas..xx

  • Melitsa

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Just catching up with my feedreader. Wishing you all hugs at this difficult time.

  • Insomniac Mummy


    I’ve been offline for a while and had no idea what you were going through.

    I just want to send you all my love and deepest sympathy at such a sad time.


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