Do you label your children. Do you always call one child noisy or clever? I remember reading something very early in pregnancy (sorry I do not know where) about the fact that you should never label the child just the action. For instance not saying naughty Mini, but that was a naughty thing to do Mini. This is something I have always tried to do with both the children, especially when it comes to actions and emotions.
However, I am finding myself slipping. I have been heard to say on many occasions that Maxi doesn’t do dressing up. This is something that I have just got used to saying in a way to explain why he will not join in on world book day or for a fancy dress party. We have lots of dressing up outfits on the house, but he has never chosen to use them. It was only this Christmas that MadDad mentioned to me that I was stereotyping him and that I needed to be more careful about attaching this label to him.
So when I was offered a couple of childrens fancy dress outfits rather than just ask Mini to pick two I also asked Maxi what he would chose. I never in a million years thought that he would wear it, but as I am all about trying to make changes, I asked for the one he wanted.
Yes, look that is Maxi in a dressing up outfit. My boy exceeded all my expectations and wore it and still does. I made sure that I didn’t hassle him or make a big thing of it.
But it has really confirmed to me the importance of labeling the action and not the child. No more will I say that Mini is my child that doesn’t go to sleep on a night and that Maxi is an early riser. I will try and find other ways of putting it. I do not want my words to become a self fulfilling prophecy.
Disclosure: We were sent two fancy dress outfits from www.megafancydress.co.uk