Experiences bring more happiness than things
A snapshot of this years family experiences so far.
parenting
10 ways to encourage your reluctant sleeper
I have posted many times that Mini Mad has issues with getting to sleep. It is something that he (and us) has suffered with since being a toddler. In January this year it got so severe that we sought some professional guidance and we have been consistently working on it since then. So how do
3 ways to explain Interest to children
Do your Children save? I have learnt that my children each have different money personalities. One is a saver and the other is a spender! However, as their mum I feel it is really important to teach them about financial management and money and this is how I introduced them to interest.
I am going to moan about schools and term time holidays
This holiday has been booked since just after my Mum died and we have been looking forward to the trip for a long time. My Brother and family are self employed and that is why we are travelling at this particular time of the year and I am aware that it could have an impact on my seven and eight year olds school work, but…………
For the last two weeks they have not really done any significant learning at school, in fact for this week they have watched more DVD’s at school that they have at home in about a year. I am not going to justify me taking them out of school by saying they will learn as much with me as at school, however, I will say that it should be my choice as a parent to make this decision.
We are sensible enough to make our own decision and I am disappointed that this is being taken away from me. There has been a lot of noise made about the Lunch box issues this week, but no one has shouted about the fact that the law has changed and that from September Headteacher will not be able to grant time off for holidays.
Currently headteachers are allowed to grant leave of absence for the purpose of a family holiday during term time in “special circumstances” of up to ten school days leave per year. Headteachers can also grant extended leave for more than ten school days in exceptional circumstances. However, Amendments to the 2006 regulations remove references to family holiday and extended leave as well as the statutory threshold of ten school days come into force in September.
Not only are the government taking this out of our hands, but also out of the hands of the school. Yet another example of the government invading my home and my choices.
I wonder if this applies to private schools too? or maybe that would be a bit like a bear pooing in its own backyard.
I am going to moan about schools and term time holidays Read More »
Children aged 4 to 9 do not need a mobile phone
Secondly, children this age DO NOT NEED mobile phones. Both my boys play outside, however, initially we used walkie talkies to keep in contact. Now they can both tell the time they have a watch and come back at a specific time. It is their responsibility to do as I tell them too. If they go to play at anyone’s house or or activity such as cubs or football I make sure I have the contact numbers of a responsible adult. I am their parent, so I make sure I look after them the best I can. I do not put that responsibility on them at four or even at nine. I do not feel that at four my children would have known when to call 999 and feel that it is unreasonable to give them access to the emergency services.
This is without bringing in to the debate concerns about the long term health effects of mobile phones or the fact that a first phone introduces them to technology far too early and that there are studies out there that prove that screens have an impact on our ability to sleep.
Children are bombarded with technology from such a young age and I want my children to stay children for as long as possible. I want them to feel as though they can go play on their bike without worrying that they are carrying a phone with them that could make them a target for mugging. What if they lose it. This particular phone costs a minimum of £50, yes £50. It is a lot of money to make them responsible for. I also feel that it is just another way to make money out of children and their parents.
I survived as a child and a teenager without a mobile phone. I appreciate things change and I am not against phones for teenager, but I do not want to expose my children to them at this age.
If you are worried about losing your children in places such as LEGOLAND or on days out I was sent some fantastic temporary tattoos with our mobile phone number on for the boys. I have taught them to look out for a person in a uniform or a mum with children and to tell them that they have lost us and could they call us on the number on the boys tattoos. Much cheaper than the £50 for the phone and it also meant that we had the stranger danger conversation too.
All of the above is enough for me without bring the following shocking statistics in to things:
According to the Cyberbullying Research Center (CRC), 25 percent of kids have been harassed or bullied with mobile calls or texts.
Only about half of the students who are cyberbullied tell their parents, also according to the CRC.
15 percent of kids have received a sexting message from someone they know.
60 percent of kids have sent texts during classroom hours.
I do not want to normalise or introduce my children to mobile phones at an early age. Where do you draw the line. I do not want my children to start taking a mobile phone to school or even preschool as that is the age this phone is targeted at. In fact I feel that giving a nine year old child a phone like this would actually make him a target for bullying. When I showed it to Maxi, who had seen it on CBBC Newsround, he said that his friends would laugh at him.
A free range summer
When I think of my summer holidays as a child, they were filled with sun, sand, bikes, scraped knees, dens and playing out with my mates, only coming home when I was hungry or thirsty. This is the type of summer I want my children to have. A somewhat retro summer and certainly a free
Too busy having fun to photograph it
But this weekend was filled with Alvin’s first walk and then many a subsequent walks.
A house and garden filled with 11 children
Cricket, more cricket and a little more cricket
Salad sandwiches from the garden
Planting peas and tying up ones that are growing well
Weeding
Washing and hanging out washing in the garden
A trip to the seaside with fish and chips and lemon top ice creams
Movie night
Lawn mowing
book reading
Early morning LEGO building
plotting and planning
Den building
Hide and seek
Letter writing
Redefining the concept of me time
I recently used the above as a title about needing to have time away from the children and taking time out for me and I received a tweet from Kirsty Younger saying she misinterpreted by title and though I was really redefining the concept of me time.
For the next couple of days this tweet kind of sat in my mind making my brain twitch somewhat. It was like an itch that needed scratching. Should I be redefining the concept me time?
One of the things that irks me about “me time” for woman is people often talk about using this time to get pampered or to pamper himself and I was so guilty of this in my last post. However, I am one of those woman who find a trip to the hairdressers a stressful experience and would rather sit in silence that chat about the weather or the next holiday the stylist is going on. Put me in a spa situation and I feel like a four year old child on her first day of school. I am never sure of the right etiquette and again who wants to have small talk whilst someone is checking out your nose for blackheads and judging you on your lack of skincare regime. A spa is the seventh circle of hell for me, not something I would want to do with any precious alone time I might have.
The more I thought about me time, the harder it was to define in the first place never mind redefine. Have my standards dropped since becoming a mum. Do I not wash my hair or paint my nails often enough. Do I need to carve out more time in my day to do this, or would my spare time time be better spent learning something new like I am with my sewing class? I know that I am getting so much out of getting out of the house and meeting new people and learning new skills. It is fast becoming my favorite day of the week. Plus I am able to put my new found skills to work making quilts and things for people I love.
But here is lies the crux of the issue. In order to redefine or even define me time you need to get past the part of your brain that feels guilty that as a mother or partner you are putting yourself first before your children or other people in your life. That you could possibly not be satisfied by all the other things in your life and need to look for some other outlet. But I am learning that guilt is the strongest emotion I possess and if I let it, it will always come to the front of my mine and I am no longer going to let my life be ruled by guilt. Whether it be my own guilt in the form of self deprecation and self worth or even self bullying or the guilt of other people that feel that by me needing some time away from my family that I am doing a disservice to mothers everywhere rule my life anymore.