I feel like crying, not that is not quite right, crying would be an improvement right now, as I am so tightly wound up I could burst. I am filled with frustration, anger, disappointment and sheer exhaustion.
Mini used to be terrible at going to bed and then this time last year we put our foot down and cracked the sleep issue and our evenings were transformed. We have had a whole year of blissful bedtimes.
This week we have taken a massive step backward. Again we have had tantrums and tears and Mini has refused to go to bed. He has taken to throwing his books and also banging on his door. I have no idea why we have taken this large step backward, but I can tell you it is stressing us all out. Mini NEEDS his sleep. He handles his emotions better when he has had a good nights sleep. I NEED some grown up time with MadDad, we need to catch up and reconnect with each other and Maxi needs to stay asleep (He is a head on the pillow and out like a light sort of boy).
Nothing has changed apart from the Christmas period. We have no idea why he doesn’t want to go to bed. He is shattered by it, we are shattered by it and last night it was 9.45 before he went to sleep. Safe to say this morning wasn’t pretty, he was tired, didn’t want to get up and go to school.
So I have taken a look at what worked for us last year and am implementing an action plan.
We are going to back to a reward chart again and link it to Skylander Characters, as he is currently obsessed with this. Also I am going to get a new Relax Kids CD. With regards to books I think that we are going to move his bedtime story to the chair in his room (he has a cabin bed, so in bed isn’t great for the adult).
I would love some ideas and help in how we can crack this. Mini is six (seven in June).
My daughter’s less keen to go to sleep than she used to be, and is generally settling around 9pm, which is just too late and means I have no evening. I’m hoping she’s just out of routine because of the Christmas holidays. I’d give it time Jen. Hopefully things will improve. xx
My 6 yrs old is too going to bed really late at the moment, although he seems to not need the sleep and doesn’t get that grumpy the next day, however, like you said it eats into your own evening time. I don’t have any tips sadly, but will be on the look out for anyone that does share anything that i could try!
Any more details, like what time he usually goes to bed and what was the routine? What he like once asleep, does he slept through okay?
I take my two (4yo & 7 yo) up to bed around 6:30-7pm. The bath/ shower or just hands and face wash and teeth, then story each and aim to finish around 7.45pm.
Hasn’t always been plain sailing and 4yo is still having the odd wee in the bed and getting into bed with me.
You will get three, hugs to you xxx
Your Comments Make sure he is getting fresh air/exercise. It is easy to bypass these on cold grey days. Also ask at school see if anything has changed.
I am no expert on these matters, but kids certainly pick up on our stressyvibes, which doesn’t help. Is there something really relaxing you could do with him before he goes to bed? Or practice some relaxing techniques once you get him into bed? Like pretending to be asleep on a desert island beach, with just the sound of the waves, lap, lap lapping on the shore, the hot sun warming your body, all that sort of stuff which I found worked on my ex step children. The problem, I expect is getting him to bed in the first place though! It sounds as though he is winding himself up before he goes to bed. Is he having bad dreams or is there some other physical reason why he doesn’t want to go to bed? Being alone? Missing fun downstairs? I really sympathise, it must be so, so frustrating for you. Hope you can get it sorted soon.
Hugs. Christmas can take a lot of getting over. My son hasn’t eaten a meal in weeks- that’s his tantrum trigger. Is he poorly or coming down with something?
xx
Your CommentsAs you know, from your previous post about the sleeping,we had this problem with my daugher when she was six/seven. She was very demanding of our attention at bedtime, and we had started off being draconian, and ended up being empathetic and just staying with her. That worked for us long term, in the sense she got her confidence back about bedtime and just settled by herself in the end.
One of the things I do when they get out of sync, so to speak, is to revert to the pattern of hanging around on the landing, doing jobs there, tidying drawers, rather than giving them overt attention. Just being around, in earshot, can help to wind down if they are in that rather demanding/stressy state. Also you give the message that you aren’t tired or fed up with their company which can often trigger off the demanding behaviour. Or at least it does in our house.
All the best, Maria.
I’m afraid I don’t know what to suggest as we haven’t had going to sleep problems since the older ones were littler. I do hope you find a solution quickly as I can well imagine how hard it is on all of you.
I have just taken a phone call from Finn’s teacher to say he shouted at an assistant yesterday – he was worked up as he’d just been picked on by another child but I’m still very shocked and really don’t know what to do. He has always struggled with getting cross but it seems to be getting much worse over the last few months and he has lashed out a couple of times too. I really don’t know how to help or discipline him.
There’s always something isn’t there?!
Hope you have a lovely weekend and mini starts to settle down soon. Juliex
Hi Jen – so sorry this is happening, I know how you feel. My little boy started similar after Christmas, but we used the usual and its seems to have stopped him. If you think my charts might help you, then do drop me a line – and feel free to ignore this if you want to!
I don’t have a solution just sympathy because Chick has never been a big sleeper. She’s 10 now and most nights I’m asleep before she is. We still have a set bedtime routine and once she;s in bed she has to stay there and read or write and not shout down the stairs. It would seem that she just doesn’t need as much sleep as me and takes an awful long time to get to sleep! It’s exhausting but on the plus side I’ve only got 8 years until she goes to Uni 😉 x
Your Comments
I just read your post again, and have been thinking.
Could it be school that has triggered this off? Is he finding school v wearing? Maybe investigate that aspect. Possibly the sleep is just a part of a bigger tension.
We have always found with our sons that sometimes they were holding onto something uncomfortable about the school day that made going to sleep hard. Sometimes just chatting about it helped a lot. At bedtime when these thoughts overwhelm, yes even us as adults.
My daughter was late to transition to a bed (about 3 and 1/4) and probably would have been happy staying in her crib. The first few nights were OK and ever since it has been a nightmare. She is now sleeping on the floor on a mat, and gets up continuously after we tuck her in. I am so incredibly frustrated and resentful and I have no idea what to do. All of the advice that suggests you calmly walk your child back to bed seems ridiculous. My child is squirming away and saying ”no” when we try that. If she is determined to stay up nothing seems to work. Despite her age (she’ll be 4 in August) she still seems unable to talk about what is going on for her (scared, missing us during the day, etc). Also threats and offers of rewards really don’t seem to work… and isn’t it wrong to offer a treat to get your kid to do something? very very tired.