This is our happily ever after, Life lessons from the summer holiday 14

I used to be a control freak, a planner, an organiser and have always needed to be in charge.  I am very good at planning and getting things done, hence the fact that I manage projects.  However, over the years since I had my children and worked on my depression I have learnt that perfectionists are more likely to suffer with depression and that I have to let go.

Normally over the summer holidays I would make sure we had activities planned in for each day.  I would make sure that we had a schedule and an itinerary to ensure that the boys were kept busy and I was kept in my comfort zone.  However this year due to recovering from my operation and lots of other reasons I couldn’t make these plans, so we had to wing it and I had to learn to let go.  It was such a hard learning curve, but has taught me some great life lessons.


The boys have learned to make their own fun, fill their time and have had fantastic days playing in the neighbourhood with local children of all ages.  They have spent days collecting crickets and bugs, making mud pies and doing tricks on their scooters.  Both can ride their bikes without stabilizers competently now too.

I have learned to relax a little with them about having lunch and dinner at set times and let them come home when they were hungry.  I have learned that a few late nights will not kill them or me. We have discovered some lovely local walks and spent time on the beach.

Rather than worry about the mess and state of the house, I did the minimum to get by and the boys helped with the work, by mopping, vacuming, polishing and cleaning with me. We tended to our little raised beds in the garden and enjoyed our home grown veg.  We learned to live at a slower pace and live in the now.

What did you learn this summer?


14 thoughts on “This is our happily ever after, Life lessons from the summer holiday

  • Pants With Names

    I’m more of a wing it and see kind of girl. I’ve (re) learnt that having some idea about what you want to do over the week is helpful, but it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t get done because the boys were having too much fun doing something else!

  • Trish

    Your two boys sound as if they’ve had a fabulous summer – good idea of yours to relax the mealtimes and bedtime routines.
    My lad has always enjoyed chilled holidays. Ok, we may go away from time to time but when we are at home it’s great just not always having plans. Rory loved it when, if he asked what we were doing on a particular day, I said, “Nothing much!”.

  • Sarah Eastes

    Your Comments Our summer was remarkably like this too. I am a planner and I to had a whole regimen planned for the summer. However the boys had other ideas and we hardly did any of it.

    Having said that, we did have a lovely time and really enjoyed ourselves. The boys are calm and relaxed for going back to school and I have thoroughly enjoyed being with them.

  • Cass@frugalfamily

    Your Summer sounds exactly like ours – my two have spent so much time playing out with their friends (largely down to the walkie talkies you gave us ) and have had a great time. Although, to be honest, I’m a list kind of a person so I did have a list of things to do – we just did them on an ad hoc basis lol.

  • Harriet

    That I shouldnt’ have let another holidays go by without meeting up with you!! I’m so glad you and the boys have had a good one, even if it wasn’t as it has been in the past. As for us, we’re definitely of the wing it variety, and I’m having to learn to be more structured, for all our sakes… maybe we should swap?!

  • hellotisgemma

    What a great summer, I love the unconstructed nature of children, no order, no plan just do.
    Hope you are feeling better, and so glad summer worked out so well for you XX

  • Emma

    It sounds like you all had a really good summer! It also sounds like you are doing well after your op. and it’s so nice that your boys are willing to help you out as well! Emma 🙂

  • Amanda @ Having Fun

    I completely understand what you mean about ‘perfectionist’ traits. It’s something I blogged about recently too. It’s so tying and tiring. Glad you’ve managed/ had to ‘let go’ a little. We’ve had a similar summer at our house and actually I think my girls have really enjoyed it. Let’s throw out the structure and be more spontaneous!

  • Kooky Girl

    Our summer was taken up with coaching my little CC for her 11+ exam which will be here in just 2 weeks now !! eek. Other than that I let her chill so that she could relax and recharge, and of course I worked all the way through…I’m a perfectionist, and sometimes a depressive. Consequently, my idea of relaxing is training for a marathon. Exercise does great things for dpresssion, and really helps lift my mood. :o) All the best, KG.

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Kooky Girl » I think I need to take up more exercise which is why I want to walk/run. Good look with the 11+

  • Metropolitan Mum

    Happy to hear that you have taken everything with such a positive attitude.
    I am still learning, or trying to learn, I am afraid. I am learning to come to terms with the fact that I am not making any money at the moment but that I am still worth something. That my work (at home and also my writing) is worth something. Not quite there yet…

    • Mum in the Madhouse

      Metropolitan Mum » I do not think that I will stop learning. The money thing is hard, but I look upon it as contribution to the household rather than hard cash and we both contribute, it is just that mine is priceless as I look after ur children

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