Tracks of my years 17

Music is often inextricably linked to an event in your life.  I too have a song which is linked to a certain time in Maxi’s life and up till recently always brought tears to my years.

When my boy was 4 months old, he was unwell, it was our first experience of a cold and he was pretty under the weather, but being a first time mum I didn’t want to take him back to the GP and be labelled an overprotective mum.  I was shattered, he wasn’t sleeping, he was screaming and couldn’t be settled, but I managed to get through to the weekend when MadDad was home.  Maxi couldn’t sleep and was only happy sitting up, but the trouble was he couldn’t sit up unaided on his own, so we kept putting him in his pram and swing.  I also sat him on the sofa next to me, which with hindsight was a silly thing to do, as no sooner did I fall asleep than he fell off.


You can imagine I was beside myself and as Maxi didn’t stop crying we rushed our little man to A&E, where we seen immediately, only to be reassured by a doctor that he was fine and that no harm had been done.  I also mentioned that he wasn’t breathing quite right to the doctor, but he dismissed me as being neurotic and we returned home.

Maxi didn’t get any better during the evening, so at 2 in the morning rang the out of hours GP and he said he would come out and see him. From the moment the GP took a look at Maxi the whole world seemed to go in slow motion, he told us he needed to be in hospital now and that there wasn’t time to ring an ambulance.  He took our keys off us and told us he would ring and warn them of our arrival and to just go he would lock up.  So we put our poorly baby in the car and drove.  As we arrived at the hospital there was a team waiting for us at the doors to A&E and Maxi was taken directly to the Children Ward.  Our poor boy was giving up, he was so tired that he couldn’t keep fighting for every breath, which was what he had been doing all day.  He was immediately put on a ventilator and we were took to one side of the room to talk to the Paediatrician who told us that they were currently on the telephone to Great Ormond Street for a bed for him in Intensive care, as our baby was seriously ill and fighting for his life.  They ask if there was any family they could call for us and I felt the bottom fall out of my world.

Yes out boy got better and the story has a happy ending, but for a week it was touch and go and we live with his condition and affects.  We have become hyper vigilant, keeping an eye out for any signs that he could be relapsing again.

For both of us there is one song that just typifies our experience.  We had the album in the car and it was being played on the radio all the time.  It was Wires by Athlete


Tracks of my years, is a something I do to let my children have an insight in to me and my musical history and why certain songs mean so much to me.  I would love to see you join in.  All you need do is link any music post you might have done over the last week.

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17 thoughts on “Tracks of my years

  • Kate, WitWitWoo

    You were right, just cried in the middle of the cafe. Oops. What a powerful post, I can only begin to imagine how awful that time was and totally understand the hyper vigilance that follows. Thanks for sharing, that must have been hard to write. x

    • admin

      Barenakedmummy » He is growing out of the condition, which is great. It taught me to listen to my mummy radar

  • Midlife Singlemum

    Thank God you had a happy ending. Every parent’s worse nightmare. My biggest worry is not knowing whether to go to the doctor if something seems like ‘it’s nothing’.

  • Carole

    Yes you were right, tissues were indeed needed!

    It must have been a terrible time for you back then, I can’t even begin to imagine what you and mad dad went through.

    I bet when you look at him now it’s hard to believe that he was once to close to losing his little life.

    If it’s any consolation I propped my youngest up on the couch, turned my back for one second and thump he landed on the floor…I was devastated but like Maxi no harm was done thank goodness…just a very traumatised Mummy.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂 x

    • admin

      Carole » It is something that a lot of people do. We were so lucky with him, we were back a month later and have had many hospitilisations, but he seems to be growing out of it.

  • Liz@VioletPosy

    God I can’t ever hear that song without crying, it came out just after Lily was born and had spent so much time in SCBU. So pleased Maxi’s story had a happy ending too xx

    • admin

      Liz@VioletPosy » We cought the album in Jan 2005 when it was release as we had seen them live and I never understood the relevance of the song. It has only just stopped making me cry. I am glad that Li;y had a happy ending too

    • admin

      Mary (asmallhandinmine) » I actually do not think it is a sad song, as we had a happy ending and did the writer too. But it just goes to show how music can touch your heart

  • Jody Brettkelly

    What a beautiful post and an incredibly hard time. Tough too that you had to keep so very vigilant. Music has such an amazing place in our lives and our memories…

  • northernmum

    Oh Jen, you made me cry!

    Honestly I am sat here watching Harry Potter with a bottle of wife beater stella and half a pizza and a laptop and to top off this rather pitiful friday night image I am now sobbing!

    So glad Maxi is doing well, I remember when BB was in hospital at the start of the year its horrific…


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